Archive for success
Starting: The Great Separator
Posted by: | CommentsDo you want to be a success? As you know, many obstacles can keep even a highly-motivated person from succeeding. But today I want to talk about the ONLY obstacle that will ALWAYS keep us from success: Not starting.
Starting is the Great Separator. It separates…
- The doers from the do-nots,
- The haves from the have-nots,
- The winners from the whiners, and
- The successful from the unsuccessful.
If a desire were enough, then everyone would be a success. But success is like a book, and starting and finishing are the front and back covers. Until you open that front cover, you can’t experience anything from the pages within.
So how do you get started?
1. Start with Yourself.
If you’ve ever flown on an airplane, you’ve heard the pre-flight instructions about the oxygen masks – which drop down from the ceiling in the case of emergency. If you’re traveling with someone who would need help, who do they always tell you to place the mask on first? Yourself! They want to remind you that you can’t help anyone else get oxygen if you aren’t able to breathe.
Starting with yourself is not a selfish goal – as long as you’re not doing it for your benefit alone. By putting on my oxygen mask, I get the oxygen I need in order to help others get oxygen. As a leader, I obtain what I need in order to help others succeed.
2. Start Early.
I can’t overstate how much you gain from starting early. It’s something you can’t really understand or grasp when you’re young. One creature that understands this principle is the ant. Consider what the Bible says in Proverbs:
“Go to the ant, you sluggard;
Consider its ways and be wise!
It has no commander,
No over seer or ruler,
Yet it stores its provisions in summer
And gathers its food at the harvest.”
-Proverbs 6:6-8
The activity of any individual ant seems to have little impact. After all, it can only carry one seed or leaf or grain of sand. And it’s not clear what any single grain has to do with the big picture of what is being formed. But regardless of how it looks from the outside, the impact is happening, and something is developing.
Whether you are trying to lose weight, build a business, build a marriage, raise a child, overcome a pattern, resolve a depression, or build a business, it is done the same way: one brick at a time. And the earlier you begin, the more bricks (or grains of sand) you can accumulate.
3. Start Small.
Most of us would love to see the entire path from where we are to the top. But life doesn’t work that way. Like a person carrying a lantern, most of us only see the small portion of the path ahead. Our best response is to just take the next step.
Why start small? It encourages you to get started and allows you to prioritize and concentrate. It also provides the necessary step to take the next step.
Like the person carrying the lantern, your path will only be illuminated a short distance ahead. We’ve all walked home in the dark. The lantern we carry may not illuminate the house, but it does show us the path that will take us there.
4. Start with The End in View.
John Wooden, an American basketball coach, was known for his focus on preparation. Every practice kept the goal – the next game – in view. Why? Because, as he said, “It’s too late to prepare when opportunity arrives.”
First, pursue your passion. A passion, a goal that you feel strongly about, gives you energy. Next, let planning give you direction. The beginning of the journey is the place to study the map. You may not always know the entire route, but your planning should always point in the direction of your destination.
5. Start now.
It’s too easy to say, “I’ll start tomorrow.” We promise that tomorrow, we will start a diet, studies, a career, or a relationship. But until we actually begin, a dream remains a dream.
It may be a cliché to say that every journey begins with the first step, yet it is still true. Successful people don’t wait for everything to be perfect to move forward. They don’t wait for all the problems or obstacles to disappear. They don’t wait until their fear subsides. They take initiative. They know a secret that good leaders understand: momentum is their friend. As soon as they take that first step and start moving forward, things become a little easier. If the momentum gets strong enough, many of the problems take care of themselves and talent can take over. But it starts only after you’ve taken those first steps.
Don’t manage your time; manage your life!
Posted by: | CommentsHere’s an important announcement: There is no such thing as time management.
Think about it; the term is an oxymoron. Time cannot be managed. It cannot be controlled in any way. Everyone gets the same number of hours and minutes every day. Nobody—no matter how shrewd—can save minutes from one day to spend on another. No scientist—no matter how smart—is capable of creating new minutes. Even with all his wealth, someone like Bill Gates can’t buy additional hours for his day. And even though people talk about trying to “find time,” they need to quit looking. There isn’t any extra lying around. Twenty-four hours is the best any of us is going to get.
You can’t manage your time. So what can you do? Manage yourself! Nothing separates successful people from unsuccessful people more than how they use their time. Successful people understand that time is the most precious commodity on earth. And that we all have an equal amount, packed into identical suitcases. So even though everyone’s suitcase is the same size, they get a higher return on the contents of theirs. Why? They know what to pack.
Essayist Henry David Thoreau wrote, “It is not enough to be busy. The question is, ‘What are we busy about?’” How do you judge whether something is worthy of your time and attention? For years I used this formula to help me know the importance of a task so that I can manage myself effectively. It’s a three step process:
1. Rate the task in terms of Importance.
- Critical = 5 points
- Necessary = 4 points
- Important = 3 points
- Helpful = 2 points
- Marginal = 1 point
2. Determine the task’s urgency.
- This month = 5 points
- Next month = 4 points
- This quarter = 3 points
- Next quarter = 2 points
- End of year = 1 point
3. Multiply the rate of importance times the rate of urgency.
- Example: 5 (critical) x 4 (next month) = 20.
After assigning each task a new number, make a new to-do list. This time list everything from highest to lowest task management score. THAT’S how you plan your day.
How you spend your time is an important question not only for you but for your team. People tend to take their cues from the leader when it comes to time management—so make sure there’s a match between your actions, your business priorities, and your team’s activities.
The power of words on a page
Posted by: | CommentsNineteenth-century writer Walt Whitman struggled for years to get anyone interested in his poetry. He became very discouraged. But then he received a note that read:
Dear sir, I am not blind to the worth of the wonderful gift of Leaves of Grass. I find it the most extraordinary piece of wit and wisdom that America has yet contributed. I greet you at the beginning of a great career.
It was signed by Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I can’t help but wonder what might have happened to Whitman had Emerson not invested in him by writing those kind words. That note must have been like fresh air to Whitman, who breathed in its encouragement and was inspired to keep writing.
You don’t have to be a professional writer like Emerson to make a difference in someone’s life. Just taking the time to write a note of encouragement is evidence of your willingness to invest in that person.
from 25 Ways to Win with People
For my friend, John Wooden
Posted by: | Comments“Make each day your masterpiece.”
-John Wooden
On June 4, 2010, the world lost a legend and I lost a friend. Basketball coach John Wooden passed away at 99 years of age.
John Wooden’s stories and quotes show up in a number of my books, for good reason. He was an amazing man. He coached basketball for over forty years. And in all those years, he had only one losing season (his first). He led his U.C.L.A. teams to four undefeated seasons and a record 10 NCAA championships, including seven in a row. Wooden was an amazing leader and coach, with a natural gift for words of encouragement and direction.
As a kid, I shared his love of basketball. As a young adult, I respected his amazing coaching success at UCLA. And more recently, I enjoyed the great privilege of being mentored by him. I already knew he was a great coach and leader, but by getting to know him personally, I learned that he was a great man.
So I’m sad to lose John Wooden. But at the same time I’m glad that he left such an amazing legacy – in people like me, in his former players, and in his books and teachings.
Just a few days after hearing the news, I was able to dedicate a sermon to him. Here is a link to the video:
Inside-Out Living, Christ Fellowship, 6/5/2010
The topic of my sermon was living from the inside out. No one that I know lived that way better than John Wooden did.
When Coach Wooden was ninety-two years old, I interviewed him in a conference, and one of the questions I asked was how he wanted to be remembered. His response brought a gasp from the audience. “I certainly don’t want to be remembered for trophies and national championships,” he said without hesitation. After thinking a moment he said, “I hope people will remember me as one who was kind and considerate of others.”
I’m honored to have known John Wooden. His life was a masterpiece. I hope his legacy impacts you as it has me.
For more of John Wooden’s wisdom, check out his most recent book, A Game Plan for Life. I was honored to write the foreword.
“Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”
— John Wooden
What is success?
Posted by: | CommentsIn 1986, when I was 39 years old, I began to notice a terrible trend among my colleagues, college buddies and friends: divorce.
This was happening in a variety of marriages – from the shaky to the apparently strong. Margaret and I didn’t think our relationship was in any kind of danger, but then again, we knew that many of our friends had thought their relationships were indestructible too.
At the same time, my career was really taking off. And while I was enjoying the new challenges, I knew that I didn’t want to lose my family in the process. That prompted me to make one of my key life decisions: rewriting my definition of success. Instead of acclaim or advancement or achievement, I decided that for me,
Success means having those closest to me
love and respect me the most.
This made success for me possible only if I included my wife and children in the journey. From that moment on, my success depended on putting my family first.
If you want to truly succeed in this life, you need to ask yourself a question: Is your pursuit of success drawing you closer to – or farther from – the most important people in your life?
If you want to redefine success the way I did, here are some ways to put your decision into practice:
Determine your priorities.
How much of your calendar is devoted to your family and/or close friends? On your budget and to-do list, where do you write in your loved ones? No relationship can survive for long on leftovers.
Early in my career, I focused so much on work that I neglected Margaret. After I realized this, I changed. I carved out time for her. I protected my day off. And we dedicated money in our budget to facilitate special times together.
It’s been said that a lot can be learned about what a person values by examining two things: their calendar and their bank statement. They show where people spend their time and money. What do those things say about what YOU value?
Decide on your philosophy.
Once your loved ones are a priority, you have to decide together what you want your family to stand for. What values will you live out? For us, the bottom line was to cultivate and maintain:
- Commitment to God,
- Continual growth,
- Common experiences,
- Confidence in God, ourselves and others, and
- Contributions to life.
This was my family’s list. I’m not suggesting that you adopt our philosophy. But I encourage you to take time together to list YOUR non-negotiables. Keep the list short so that you can remember and apply it.
Develop your problem-solving strategy.
I think a lot of people go into marriage expecting it to be easy. Maybe they’ve seen too many movies. Marriage isn’t easy. Family isn’t easy. Close friendships aren’t easy. The best plan is to expect problems, stay committed, and develop a strategy for getting through the rough times.
Talk to your loved ones about how you could improve your problem solving together. (NOTE: Do this during a calm time, not in the middle of a conflict!)
Many problem-solving strategies exist, from family meetings to fair fighting rules. Use the ones that work for you. Just be sure that they foster and promote three things:
- Better understanding,
- Positive change, and
- Growing relationships.
Deciding to redefine success, and acting on that decision, changed the trajectory of my life. Now, 24 years later, I’m still married to the love of my life, both my kids are married with children (my grandangels!), and we all still enjoy spending time together.
Wrapping my definition of success around those I love the most made the difference. And really, when you reach the end of your life, what will be most important to you? Dusty awards granted by acquaintances, or deep connection with those you love?







