Archive for encouragement
What does it mean to be a COACH?
Posted by: | CommentsToday I thought I’d share with you one lesson from my free daily videos, Minute with Maxwell. This particular video generated the most discussion, which doesn’t surprise me, since it was focused on the word COACH.
(If you can’t view the above video, try clicking here or here.)
Do you find yourself in a situation where you need to coach someone? As I said in the video, one of the most important gifts a coach can give is perspective. Because we all tend to make decisions based on our perspective and attitude, it’s important for the coach to share the big picture.
Here are some attitudes and perspectives that all people have in common, followed by the action a coach can take to influence them:
- People are insecure… So give them confidence.
- People like to feel special… So sincerely compliment them.
- People want a better tomorrow… So show them hope.
- People lack direction… So navigate for them.
- People are self-centered… So speak to their needs first.
- People get low emotionally… So encourage them.
- People want success… So help them win.
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Leading difficult people: Slumped Susan
Posted by: | CommentsHere’s a truth that I’ve believed for a long time: Leadership is influence. Nothing more, nothing less. If a leader has no one following, he’s only taking a walk.
Of course, not everyone is easy to influence. Some followers are difficult to connect with. Last week we talked about the art of influencing difficult people, with a focus on Fearful Fred. With Fred, the goal was to get him started, to go from no momentum to sustained growth.
But what happens when a follower who had a great deal of momentum begins to fall behind? What does a leader do when this follower stumbles or stops altogether?
Let me introduce you to Slumped Susan. This is the follower who was a good performer, someone who got results and approached her tasks with enthusiasm. But somewhere on the journey, she fell off the tracks. Now, with no momentum or confidence, she’s barely moving.
Just like last week’s Fearful Fred, leading Slumped Susan requires you to understand her, be willing to listen, and give her the tools to grow. If Susan believes that you support and believe in her, she’ll be more likely to start moving forward again.
Understanding Slumped Susan:
- Attitude: Depression
- Motivated by: Coaching
- Strength: Past Success
- Weakness: Pessimism
Listening to Slumped Susan:
- Privately sit down and discuss her slump.
- Let her talk about the good old days.
- List what she did when things went bad.
- List what she did when things went well.
- If she desires to change, develop a game plan.
Leading Slumped Susan:
- Remove her from others while she’s in the slump.
- Reprioritize her workload.
- Remain with her as much as possible.
- Require her to do what is right, not what she wants to do.
- Remember to encourage her as much as possible.
Growth program:
Read The Winning Attitude together
Are you a Slumped Susan? Or do you lead one? With coaching and positive attention from the leader, Susan can regain her confidence and begin to shine again.
Next time: Excited Eddie
The Right Thing 101
Posted by: | CommentsA few years ago, I published a book called Ethics 101. In it, I proposed that ethics was not a changeable thing, based on your situation or personality or industry. Instead, I explained that I believe that ALL ethics boils down to one thing: The Golden Rule.
Essentially, asking the question, “How would I like to be treated?” is an integrity guideline for ANY situation.
Think about it: How DO we like to be treated?
1. We want to be valued.
Did you know that in the American marketplace today, 70% of those who leave their jobs do so because they do not feel valued? Don’t you want others to accept you for who you are and show you through their actions that you matter?
Valuing others, not for what they can do but simply because they are human beings, is the foundation of ethics.
2. We want to be appreciated.
Closely related to the need to be valued and loved is the desire to be appreciated for what we can do. Don’t you want to excel and achieve? Knowing that what you do matters builds your self-confidence and self-worth.
How do we express appreciation? Begin by thanking people at every opportunity. Give credit to others. And make a point of praising people in the presence of those close to them, like family members. Broadway producer Billy Rose shrewdly observed, “It’s hard for a fellow to keep a chip on his shoulder if you allow him to take a bow.”
3. We want to be trusted.
George MacDonald said, “To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.” Think about it: Good marriages, business relationships, and friendships all require trust. Without it, you don’t have open and honest communication, and the relationship can be only temporary.
It takes a leap of faith to put your trust in another person, especially someone you don’t know well. But as Henry L. Stinson said, “The only way you can make a man trustworthy is by trusting him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust.”
4. We want to be respected.
When others trust me, I receive responsibility and authority. When others respect me, it touches something deeper within me. It gives me dignity and builds my confidence. As Arnold Glasow said, “The respect of those you respect is worth more than the applause of the multitude.”
The respect of a leader gives people the freedom to perform at their best and the incentive to work with excellence. I can’t think of a more positive working environment.
5. We want to be understood.
Charles Kettering said, “There is a great difference between knowing and understanding. You can know a lot about something and not really understand it.” Likewise, we can know a lot about a person and still not really understand them or why they do what they do.
But the desire to be understood is so strong that many disagreements can be resolved simply when one party (or both) gets the sense that they’ve been understood.
Understanding others means extending yourself and meeting them where they are. You must put the burden of connecting on yourself, not on them.
6. We don’t want others to take advantage of us.
We can cut through almost all of the ethical and moral dilemmas of life by observing this principle with others. If anyone could interpret what I do as taking advantage of them, then my actions are probably a bad idea.
What do you think of the needs listed above? Did I miss anything? And just for the sake of discussion, let me pose a question you can answer in the comments:
Describe a situation in your past in which a person in authority expressed value, appreciation, and respect for you. Why does that instance stand out to you? How did you respond?
Find more on ethics for all areas of life in Ethics 101.
The power of words on a page
Posted by: | CommentsNineteenth-century writer Walt Whitman struggled for years to get anyone interested in his poetry. He became very discouraged. But then he received a note that read:
Dear sir, I am not blind to the worth of the wonderful gift of Leaves of Grass. I find it the most extraordinary piece of wit and wisdom that America has yet contributed. I greet you at the beginning of a great career.
It was signed by Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I can’t help but wonder what might have happened to Whitman had Emerson not invested in him by writing those kind words. That note must have been like fresh air to Whitman, who breathed in its encouragement and was inspired to keep writing.
You don’t have to be a professional writer like Emerson to make a difference in someone’s life. Just taking the time to write a note of encouragement is evidence of your willingness to invest in that person.
from 25 Ways to Win with People
