Archive for Communication

Mar
01

The power of good communication

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Caesarea, Israel. Teaching about Paul the Apostle’s audience with King Herod Agrippa in that very city.

But Agrippa did answer: “Keep this up much longer and you’ll make a Christian out of me!” (Acts 26:28, The Message)

This week I’m in Israel, touring with Christ Fellowship Church (Palm Beach, Florida). And just a few days ago, I taught a lesson in Caesarea, the ancient city built by Herod the Great right on the Mediterranean.

As you might have guessed, this lesson relates to my Christian faith. But I don’t share it here in order to impose it on you, but rather because I believe that Paul can teach all of us – whether we agree with him or not – a thing or two about the power of connecting.

After all, as the above quote from Acts indicates, Paul was such an effective witness to his faith that he almost convinced King Agrippa.

How did Paul’s testimony have such a powerful impact?

1. He immediately connected with King Agrippa.

In only a few words, Paul established common ground with Agrippa. Not only that, but Paul also appealed to the king’s intellect and ego.

Agrippa spoke directly to Paul: “Go ahead—tell us about yourself.”

Paul took the stand and told his story. “I can’t think of anyone, King Agrippa, before whom I’d rather be answering all these Jewish accusations than you, knowing how well you are acquainted with Jewish ways and all our family quarrels.”

Clearly, Paul had done his homework. He understood Agrippa’s point of view and what he cared about, and he used that knowledge to immediately create a connection.

2. He was vulnerable and open about his past.

Finding common ground is a two-way street. While it’s important to focus on others to understand them, it’s also critical to be open and authentic so that others understand you. Paul did it by telling his own story – the good, the bad and the ugly – to the king:

From the time of my youth, my life has been lived among my own people in Jerusalem. Practically every Jew in town who watched me grow up—and if they were willing to stick their necks out they’d tell you in person—knows that I lived as a strict Pharisee, the most demanding branch of our religion.… For a time I thought it was my duty to oppose this Jesus of Nazareth with all my might…. I stormed through [Christians’] meeting places, bullying them into cursing Jesus, a one-man terror obsessed with obliterating these people….

One day, …right in the middle of the day a blaze of light … poured out of the sky…. Oh, King, it was so bright! We fell flat on our faces. Then I heard a voice in Hebrew: ‘Saul, Saul, why are you out to get me? Why do you insist on going against the grain?’

I said, ‘Who are you, Master?’

The voice answered, ‘I am Jesus, the One you’re hunting down like an animal.

3. He expressed his conviction.

Just as Paul was honest about his past, he held nothing back when sharing his passion.

[the voice continued], ‘But now, up on your feet—I have a job for you. I’ve handpicked you to be a servant and witness to what’s happened today, and to what I am going to show you.’ …What could I do, King Agrippa? I couldn’t just walk away from a vision like that!

Whether you agree with Paul or not, don’t you find his passion contagious? If you had been there as he spoke, wouldn’t you have wanted to hear more of what he had to say?

***

Connection, authenticity, and conviction: what a powerful combination. Scottish philosopher and religious skeptic David Hume was once observed early one morning hurrying to hear evangelist George Whitefield preach. When asked where he was going, Hume answered, “To hear George Whitefield.” Puzzled, the questioner asked if he believed what the evangelist preached.

“Certainly not!” Hume replied, “But Whitefield does.”

Everyone communicates. But if you want your communication to be truly effective, do what Paul did. Listen, speak honestly, and be passionate. Then you’ll be communicating at the highest level, and maybe others will rush to hear what you have to say, too.

Feb
11

Be impressed, not impressive

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Conversation

Too often we think that if we can impress others, we will gain influence with them. We want to become others’ heroes – to be larger than life. That creates a problem because we’re real live human beings. People can see us for who we really are. If we make it our goal to impress them, we puff up our pride and end up being pretentious – and that turns people off.

If you want to influence others, don’t try to impress them. Pride is really nothing more than a form of selfishness, and pretense is only a way to keep people at arm’s length so that they can’t see who you really are. Instead of impressing others, let them impress you.

It’s really a matter of attitude. The people with charisma, those who attract others to themselves, are individuals who focus on others, not themselves. They ask questions of others. They listen. They don’t try to be the center of attention. And they never try to pretend they’re perfect.

Spend today listening to others and letting them impress you.

~ From The Maxwell Daily Reader

Feb
01

The final countdown

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Well, the countdown has begun…

The final edits are complete, contributions from commenters have been added, and Everyone Communicates, Few Connect is currently at the printer.

If you remember the cover design from November, you may notice that it’s been modified just a little. After I previewed it, Justin Wise at BeDeviant.com pointed out its design similarity to the logo for a conference called Cultivate. That prompted us to revisit the design and modify it. The good news is that I think this new design is even better than the first. But of course, this does have an effect on exactly which photos made it onto the front. Fortunately, every contributor photo that we collected in the fall will be featured INSIDE cover no matter what.

On March 30, readers in the United States will find it in bookstores and online. It looks like it will be available in Europe and Asia (in English and Spanish) on the 28th of May.

(Also, Thomas Nelson is working with publishers around the globe to make it available in other languages. We’ll share information on translations as we receive it.)

For information and for links to preorder in the US, visit Thomas Nelson’s dedicated webpage.

Jan
12

News and thank yous

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Hello! I hope you had a wonderful holiday season. Our Christmas was very merry. We gathered as a family to thank God for the birth of His Son and express our love for each other. My mother’s absence from this earth was on our minds, but with every smile from our grandbabies, we glimpsed the heart of Mom. We know we’ll see her again.

It’s been awhile since my last post, so let me catch you up a bit:

  • As you read this, I’m probably in Shanghai, China. For the second time in 12 months, I’m teaching leadership here (January 10-21). I’m feeling amazingly blessed with this opportunity, and I hope to truly add value to everyone I meet.
  • You might remember that I had knee surgery in early December. Well, I’m pleased to say that my recovery has been swift. Physical therapy has gone well, and my knee now feels BETTER THAN normal. Thank you for your encouragement and prayers.
  • Do I need to remind you of my upcoming book? If you’ve been reading here for awhile, probably not. But if you’re new and want to see how a book was taken to a new level by a blog’s community of readers , this post will fill you in.

Everyone Communicates, Few Connect will be published and on bookshelves on March 30th of this year. And this is what everyone who picks up the book will see:

  • EVERY commenter, whether their comment made it into the book or not, listed in the Acknowledgements as a valued contributor.
  • SEVENTY + contributors quoted by name within the book (with their names also cited in the End Notes).
  • 200+ photos INSIDE the book or on the cover. (We used as many as possible in the graphic on the dust jacket, and will display ALL on the end papers inside the front and back covers.)

What the average reader won’t see: the incalculable value that was added to the entire book by your participation. It won’t be obvious that we reordered an entire chapter when you said it was unclear. Most readers will never know how many errors you caught. They won’t see the stories we removed in favor of better stories from YOUR lives.

But I’ll know. And I want YOU to know, again, how grateful I am for your help. THANK YOU for not only communicating, but connecting.

So here it is: the book we’ve all been working on:

EveryoneComFewConnect with photos

Available March, 2010

When I turned in this manuscript last spring, I was already very pleased with it. After all, I was confident that …

  • The ability to connect can change people’s leadership, communication, and relationships;
  • Connecting can be learned; and
  • As someone who had learned to grow as a connector, I could help others along on that same journey.

Nine months later, I’m excited about this book in ways I couldn’t have predicted. That’s because back when I started writing this book, I had no idea that I’d end up sharing the entire unpublished manuscript with my blog readers.

(For that matter, I had no idea I would even HAVE a blog.)

I didn’t know that I would connect online with such a large number of people on the subject of connecting.

I never knew I could receive so much amazing input and advice from people all over the world that I’d never met.

And I couldn’t have predicted how much your suggestions would change and improve the book.

But here we are. After eleven weeks of sharing the book here a chapter at a time, we’re busy making the final changes to the content based on your input. How much of an impact did you make? Well, here are some exciting facts and stats.

From September 1 to November 16…

This blog recorded more than 100,000 page views.

The posts on the chapters received 1,437 different comments.

To the ten chapters, we added more than 75 of your stories, quotes and anecdotes.

We made over 100 additional changes based on your editorial suggestions.

We redesigned the cover to include the photos of contributors (i.e. YOU).

Then after receiving over 200 photographs – too many to fit on the cover – we redesigned the end papers to include every useable photo.

The one thing that didn’t change, thanks to amazing work by the publishing team, was the date the book will be available for purchase in the United States:

March 30, 2010.

Whether you buy the book or not, I am truly grateful for your part in its creation. I hope that the process has added value to you and your communication.

THANK YOU for connecting with me. It’s an honor to communicate with you.