Archive for books

Nov
18

Thank you to Everyone who Connected!

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So here it is: the book we’ve all been working on:

EveryoneComFewConnect with photos

Available March, 2010

When I turned in this manuscript last spring, I was already very pleased with it. After all, I was confident that …

  • The ability to connect can change people’s leadership, communication, and relationships;
  • Connecting can be learned; and
  • As someone who had learned to grow as a connector, I could help others along on that same journey.

Nine months later, I’m excited about this book in ways I couldn’t have predicted. That’s because back when I started writing this book, I had no idea that I’d end up sharing the entire unpublished manuscript with my blog readers.

(For that matter, I had no idea I would even HAVE a blog.)

I didn’t know that I would connect online with such a large number of people on the subject of connecting.

I never knew I could receive so much amazing input and advice from people all over the world that I’d never met.

And I couldn’t have predicted how much your suggestions would change and improve the book.

But here we are. After eleven weeks of sharing the book here a chapter at a time, we’re busy making the final changes to the content based on your input. How much of an impact did you make? Well, here are some exciting facts and stats.

From September 1 to November 16…

This blog recorded more than 100,000 page views.

The posts on the chapters received 1,437 different comments.

To the ten chapters, we added more than 75 of your stories, quotes and anecdotes.

We made over 100 additional changes based on your editorial suggestions.

We redesigned the cover to include the photos of contributors (i.e. YOU).

Then after receiving over 200 photographs – too many to fit on the cover – we redesigned the end papers to include every useable photo.

The one thing that didn’t change, thanks to amazing work by the publishing team, was the date the book will be available for purchase in the United States:

March 30, 2010.

Whether you buy the book or not, I am truly grateful for your part in its creation. I hope that the process has added value to you and your communication.

THANK YOU for connecting with me. It’s an honor to communicate with you.

Nov
09

Connectors Live What They Communicate

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Synopsis coming soon…

Nov
02

Connectors Inspire People

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Chapter 9 Synopsis

Connectors Inspire People

When someone begins to communicate with others, the first thing listeners do is start asking questions at a subconscious level. They want to know what’s in it for them. They want to know if the speaker is credible. But they also care about how the person communicates with them.

As I have watched effective communicators inspire people, I have come to the conclusion that there is a kind of formula, which I call the Inspiration Equation, which comes into play. It works like this:

What They Know + What They See + What They Feel = Inspiration

Do people know that you care? That you understand them? Can they see that you are credible? That you live what you say? Can they feel your passion for your message and your confidence in yourself and them? When a communicator is able to bring all three factors into alignment, it creates a synergy that inspires people. And from that place of inspiration, you can often lead people to take action.

Norm Lawson tells the story of a rabbi and a soap maker who went for a walk together. The soap maker said, “What good is religion? Look at all the trouble and misery of the world! Still there, even after years—thousands of years—of teaching about goodness and truth and peace. Still there, after all the prayers and sermons and teachings. If religion is good and true, why should this be?”

The rabbi said nothing. They continued walking until he noticed a child playing in the gutter.

Then the rabbi said, “Look at that child. You say that soap makes people clean, but see the dirt on that youngster. Of what good is soap? With all the soap in the world, over all these years, the child is still filthy. I wonder how effective soap is, after all!”

The soap maker protested, “But, Rabbi, soap cannot do any good unless it is used!”

“Exactly,” replied the rabbi.

According to some scholars, there hasn’t always been such a divide between understanding and action. One linguist says that in up to twenty primitive languages, the words for “hearing” and “doing” are the same word. Only in our modern context have we divided them.

Actor Will Smith once said, “The way I like to measure greatness is: How many people do you affect? In your time on earth, how many people can you affect? How many people can you make want to be better? Or how many people can you inspire?” In the end, what good is our communication if its impact ends the moment we stop speaking? The true test of inspiration isn’t people’s applause; it’s their actions. That’s what makes a difference.

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Chapter 8 Synopsis

Connectors Create an Experience Everyone Enjoys

What words would you choose to describe the best communicators who have connected well with you? Entertaining? Energetic? Funny? Maybe if you gave it some time, you could produce a long list of attributes. Now think about the communicators you don’t care for, the ones who were unable to connect with you. If I asked you to describe them using only one word, what would it be? I’m willing to bet that the word would be boring.

Sadly, for many of us, it’s much easier to bore people than to connect with them. But I have some good news: no matter what your current level of skill is in this area, you can make it better. Being interesting can be learned. I know because my personal experience can back it up.

When I began my career as a pastor, my biggest fear was of being “another boring preacher.” After all, as a kid growing up in church, my prayer every Sunday morning went something like this . . .

Now I lay me down to sleep,

The sermon’s long; the subject’s deep.

If he should quit before I wake,

I ask someone, “Give me a shake.”

No communicator, whether delivering a sermon or chatting at a restaurant, wants to be boring. We want to be INTERESTING. Fortunately, we can do that in a number of ways, like taking responsibility for what listeners hear, being visual and telling stories. Often the bottom line when it comes to holding people’s interest and connecting with others is to be the kind of communicator you would like to hear.

Now don’t get me wrong; no one can connect with everybody. It doesn’t matter how hard you work at it. Though I strive to be an effective communicator, I know there are people I leave cold when I talk. That’s okay. But you can be sure that I will do everything in my power to keep them from falling asleep. The longer they stay engaged, the better the chance I have of winning them over. And the better the chance of adding value to them.

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Chapter 7 Synopsis

Connectors Do the Difficult Work of Keeping It Simple

A few years ago, I was being interviewed on a television talk show. The host held up a couple of my books and said, “John, I’ve read several of your books and they are all so simple.” His tone of voice, body language, and mannerisms made it clear to me and the audience that he did not mean it as a compliment!

My response was straightforward: “That’s true. The principles in my books are simple to understand. But they are not always simple to apply.” The audience applauded, and he conceded what I said was right.

I think a lot of people believe that if an individual, especially an author or speaker, bombards them with a lot of complex information or writes using big words in a style that is dense and difficult to understand, then he is somehow intelligent and credible. In the academic world, that seems to be especially true. When students can’t understand their professor, they often assume it’s because the professor is so smart and knows so much more than they do. I don’t think that’s always true. More often in such cases the teacher isn’t a good communicator. While educators often take something simple and make it complicated, communicators take something complicated and make it simple.

In his excellent book The Power of Little Words, author John Beckley, former business editor of Newsweek, observes: “The emphasis in education is rarely placed on communicating ideas simply and clearly. Instead, we’re encouraged to use more complicated words and sentence structures to show off our learning and literacy. . . . Instead of teaching us how to communicate as clearly as possible, our schooling in English teaches us how to fog things up. It even implants a fear that if we don’t make our writing complicated enough, we’ll be considered uneducated.”

I think everyone can agree that many of the issues we face in life can be complex. A professor may legitimately argue that his or her area of expertise is complicated. I won’t contest that. But as leaders and communicators, our job is to bring clarity to a subject, not complexity. It doesn’t take nearly as much skill to identify a problem as it does to find a good solution. The measure of a great teacher isn’t what he knows; it’s what his students know. Making things simple is a skill, and it’s a necessary one if you want to connect with people when you communicate.

Winston Churchill was perhaps the greatest communicator of the twentieth century. He was an excellent leader, inspiring communicator, and accomplished writer, having won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1953. He continually expressed the importance of keeping communication simple. He stated, “All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope,” and “Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old words best of all.”

It may seem counterintuitive, but if you want to take your communication to the next level and connect with people, don’t try to impress them with your intellect or overpower them with too much information. Give them clarity and simplicity. People will relate to you, and they’ll want to invite you back to communicate with them again.

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