Success: What it isn’t
ByThe problem for most people who want to be successful is not that they can’t do it. The main obstacle for them is that they misunderstand success. Maltbie D. Babcock said, “One of the most common mistakes and one of the costliest is thinking that success is due to some genius, some magic, something or other which we do not possess.”
If that’s not right, then what DOES it mean to be a success? What does it look like? First, let’s talk about what it DOESN’T look like:
Many of us have a wrong picture of success. Frankly, the majority of people misunderstand it. They wrongly equate it with achievement of some sort, with arriving at a destination or attaining a goal. Here are several of the most common misconceptions about success:
1. Wealth: Probably the most common misunderstanding about success is that it’s the same as having money. A lot of people believe that if they accumulate wealth, they’ll be successful. But wealth does not bring contentment – or success.
Industrialist John D. Rockefeller, a man so rich that he gave away over $350 million in his lifetime, was once asked how much money it would take to satisfy him. His reply: “Just a little bit more.” King Solomon of ancient Israel, said to be not only the wisest but also the richest man who ever lived, said, “Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income.”
Even Greek millionaire Aristotle Onassis recognized that money isn’t the same as success. He said, “After you reach a certain point, money becomes unimportant. What matters is success.”
2. A Special Feeling. Another common misconception is that people have achieved success when they feel successful or happy. But trying to feel successful is probably even more difficult than trying to become wealthy.
The continual search for happiness is one of the main reasons that so many people are miserable. If you make happiness your goal, you are almost certainly destined to fail. You will be on a continual roller coaster, changing from “successful” to “unsuccessful” with every mood change. Life is uncertain, and emotions aren’t stable. Happiness simply cannot be relied upon as a measure of success.
3. Possessing Something Specific and Worthwhile. Think back to when you were a kid. Chances are that there was a time when you wanted something really bad, and you believed that if you possessed that thing, it would make a significant difference in your life. When I was nine years old, it was a red and silver Schwinn bicycle. Back then, the thing to do in our neighborhood was to race around on our bikes.
But I was riding an old hand-me-down bicycle, and I had trouble keeping up with the kids on newer bikes. But I figured that if I had that new Schwinn bike, I’d have it made. I’d have the newest, fastest, best-looking bike among all my friends, and I’d make them all eat my dust.
On Christmas morning, I got my wish. And for a while it was great. I loved that bike, and I spent a lot of time riding it. But I eventually discovered that it didn’t bring me the success or long-term contentment that I’d hoped for and expected.
That process has repeated itself in my life. Over the years, I found that success didn’t come as the result of possessing something I’d wanted. Possessions are at best a temporary fix. Success cannot be attained or measured that way.
4. Power. Charles McElroy once joked, “Power is usually recognized as an excellent short-term anti-depressant.” There’s a lot of truth to that statement, because power often gives the appearance of success, but even then, it’s only temporary.
You’ve probably heard before the quote from English historian, Lord Acton: “Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Abraham Lincoln echoed that belief when he said, “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” Power really is a test of character. In the hands of a person of integrity, it is of great benefit; in the hands of a tyrant, it causes terrible destruction. By itself, power is neither positive or negative. Nor is it the source of security or success. Besides, all dictators eventually lose power – even benevolent ones.
5. Achievement. Many people have what I call “destination disease.” They believe that if they can arrive somewhere – attain a position, accomplish a goal, or have a relationship with the right person – they will be successful. At one time, I had a similar view of success: I defined it as the progressive realization of a predetermined worthwhile goal. But over time I realized that definition fell short of the mark.
Simply achieving goals doesn’t guarantee success or contentment. Look at what happened with Michael Jordan. In 1993, he decided to retire from basketball, saying that he had accomplished all the goals he had wanted to achieve. And then he went on to play baseball in the minor leagues – but not for long. He couldn’t stay away from the game of basketball. He played again from 1995 to 1999. Then he retired again – for a couple seasons. He played his final seasons 2001-2003. Playing the game was the thing. Being in the midst of the process. You see, success isn’t a list of goals to be checked off one after another. It’s not reaching a destination. Success is a journey.
Next week, we’ll focus on what I believe is the best definition of success, and how to pursue it.
Great perspective on what Success is not! These points are so very true. We all, at some point, feel that success is something tangible or an end result. The journey, in a field that one truly enjoys, is priceless.
As defined in “Developing the Leader within You.” Success is the progressive realization of a predetermined goal.
I think that Tolstoy, the writer of one of the most acclaimed writings of all time, struggles with this very issue. There’s a lengthy, but worthy read, to be found here:
http://www.ourcivilisation.com/smartboard/shop/smmnsej/tolstoy/chap7.htm
I was just talking to a friend about what success really means. Thank you for putting this article up. I needed to read that today.
Success is subjective, not based on worldliness or one mans standard’s, in which all of us are in search of and discerning the definition.
Well said! Our purpose, while it MUST be a noble one, must also be OUR OWN… if we would be truly successful. Otherwise, we would only be pretenders… too weak to even take our own journey in life. (no success there!)
God defines success. If a man or women is to live a successful life, it is because that life was lived in accordance with His will.
Success seems to have less to to do with a destination… a result… or even a method to one’s journey, as it has to do with A REASON for it. The reason, THE PURPOSE, for our actions is the key to our success. If the purpose is noble, there is the foundation of true success. It is hard to imagine an unsuccessful life, which life has noble purpose.
This sure made me think and re-think. I’m glad I read it early in the morning. Sets my mind in the right frame as I move forward today, successfully.
I find most of us fall victim to the misconceptions. Does society not set them for us? I cringe when I hear my 13 year old son say “I am going to make a lot of money when I grow up”. Social media, friends, and family set this understanding that money leads to happiness through power and achievement. I have to assume my son hears me when I tell him otherwise, but just to be sure I pay him $10 to read books which focus around leadership concepts and ideas.
None of us are immune to our surrounding influences and it takes a lot of self-actualization and discipline to maintain control of our thoughts and actions. Continuous education and practice will help us keep focus to improve ourselves.
I believe you’re right on target, when you said it takes PRACTICE to succeed. We must be deliberate with EACH action we take, always asking “why am I doing this? what’s my motivation?” …and then we must practice finding a higher, nobler reason to act…… or choose a nobler action.
Such an awesome truth that I KNOW more people need to embrace. Success should be defined by your contentment and joy in doing what you love and affecting people in a positive way. Can’t wait for next week’s post!
Thank you for this is a terrific post John. What an awesome highlights on “What Success isn’t”! Most people tend to equate with something tangible that can be achieved, but actually…..it isn’t
Wow!
Look forward to your next posts in this series now.
“Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of being.” -John Wooden
When I saw PastorcJC Maxwell preaching in a Nairobi pentecostal church almost ten years back, I could hardly recognize the christian thinker, philosopher and pragmatic leadership Teacher I read of. This writings are intense, immensely factual and greatly inspiring, Being from an african corrupt it s even easier to see most of these lies taken by the membre of the public as being the right direction. It reminds me the truth that there is a big lier in town, a big killer and he is a big destroyer. Only those born again can face him and defeat him once for all.God bless all of you!
I had my checklist like everyone else. Graduate college, get married, get a good job = success. I did all those things and still wasn’t satisfied. Thanks for sharing the success is a journey not a destination. I’m definitely enjoying this stage of my journey and empowering others to do the same.
Ahh yes. Life can be funny in how we misunderstand what is truely important. I find we often get caught up trying to live other people’s lives or live by the expectations of us.
It feels so good to be free! I have never been happier and looking forward to further improving myself, building good relationships, and asking myself what I can do for others throughout my journey.
Amen to that… Spot On!
Thank you very much for this post! One thing I’ve communicated to people for quite some time now is that trying to pursue success is completely ineffective if you haven’t defined success. Part of the problem is that people know what they think it “should be” and pursue that perception, then find it unfulfilled and get frustrated or depressed. Starting by knowing what success is and isn’t helps orient people.
Maybe most important is knowing how God defines success, and what that means for us. I look forward to reading next week’s post!
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I hate the way i have to wait for next week. This is simply outstanding
Really good list of what success is not! Unfortunately, as much as I hate to admit it, I have defined success by all of these things especially the achievement disease. As I am thinking about it now, I believe success might have something to do with fulfilling the purpose of God for one’s life so success would mean different things for different people. I would love to know, however, how you might measure or define it.
Great Point. Each of us has talents, gifts that seem to come completely naturally. We also have deep motivations which absolutely drive us… feelings that seem to have always been there; feelings we always seem to come back to. These drives and talents are a part of our being… In AT LEAST this way, they are God-given. And surely our success involves some follow thru on, and development of, these gifts.
Well said, Michel! We start with understanding what the dreams, passions, gifts, talents, skills, & abilities that God has given us are, and then develop and use them for His purposes. That has to be a key part of success.
What would you say is success then?
I’ll say success is realizing one’s potential.
Agree with you John. What you mentioned above are just reward for what we have invest – our time and effort.
Success is a journey….we need to keep learning while we are on the journey. We need to keep improving our EQ, our knowledge. For a Christian like me, success means learn how to build relationship with God when I have hard time.
Success needs us not focus on the result but the process.
Very powerful insights here! I totally agree with you and I used to be one of those people that believed that success meant having a lot of money but its truly a journey and being able to do the things that you’ve set out to do. Thanks for sharing!