Archive for June, 2010
For my friend, John Wooden
Posted by: | Comments“Make each day your masterpiece.”
-John Wooden
On June 4, 2010, the world lost a legend and I lost a friend. Basketball coach John Wooden passed away at 99 years of age.
John Wooden’s stories and quotes show up in a number of my books, for good reason. He was an amazing man. He coached basketball for over forty years. And in all those years, he had only one losing season (his first). He led his U.C.L.A. teams to four undefeated seasons and a record 10 NCAA championships, including seven in a row. Wooden was an amazing leader and coach, with a natural gift for words of encouragement and direction.
As a kid, I shared his love of basketball. As a young adult, I respected his amazing coaching success at UCLA. And more recently, I enjoyed the great privilege of being mentored by him. I already knew he was a great coach and leader, but by getting to know him personally, I learned that he was a great man.
So I’m sad to lose John Wooden. But at the same time I’m glad that he left such an amazing legacy – in people like me, in his former players, and in his books and teachings.
Just a few days after hearing the news, I was able to dedicate a sermon to him. Here is a link to the video:
Inside-Out Living, Christ Fellowship, 6/5/2010
The topic of my sermon was living from the inside out. No one that I know lived that way better than John Wooden did.
When Coach Wooden was ninety-two years old, I interviewed him in a conference, and one of the questions I asked was how he wanted to be remembered. His response brought a gasp from the audience. “I certainly don’t want to be remembered for trophies and national championships,” he said without hesitation. After thinking a moment he said, “I hope people will remember me as one who was kind and considerate of others.”
I’m honored to have known John Wooden. His life was a masterpiece. I hope his legacy impacts you as it has me.
For more of John Wooden’s wisdom, check out his most recent book, A Game Plan for Life. I was honored to write the foreword.
“Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”
— John Wooden
When You Get Kicked in the Rear, You Know You’re Out in Front
Posted by: | CommentsGreek philosopher Aristotle said, “Criticism is something you can avoid easily—by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” Obviously, that isn’t an option for anyone who wants to be successful as a leader.
Good leaders are active, and their actions often put them out front. That often draws criticism. When spectators watch a race, where do they focus their attention? On the front-runners! People watch their every action—and often criticize.
Since criticism is a part of leadership, you need to learn how to handle it constructively. The following has helped me to deal with criticism, so I pass it on to you.
Know yourself.
Do you really know yourself? Are you aware of your weaknesses as well as your strengths? Where do you fall short as a person and leader? Not sure what your weaknesses are? Ask five trustworthy people close to you. They’ll be able to tell you where you come up short.
Know the criticism – and the critics.
When you receive criticism, how do you tell if it’s constructive or destructive? (Some say constructive criticism is when I criticize you, but destructive criticism is when you criticize me!) Here are the questions I ask to get to determine what kind of criticism it is:
- Who criticized me? Adverse criticism from a wise person is more to be desired than the enthusiastic approval of a fool. The source often matters.
- How was it given? I try to discern whether the person was being judgmental or whether he gave me the benefit of the doubt and spoke with kindness.
- Why was it given? Was it given out of a personal hurt or for my benefit? Hurting people hurt people; they lash out or criticize to try to make themselves feel better, not to help the other person.
Stay open to change.
Let’s assume you now know yourself pretty well. You can tell when a criticism is way off-base; maybe it’s directed more at your position than at you. And you know when a criticism is 100% legitimate because it’s about a weakness that you’ve already discovered.
But what about the gray areas? The criticisms that might hold a grain of truth? A good leader stays open to improvement by:
- Not being defensive,
- Looking for the helpful grain of truth,
- Making the necessary changes, and
- Taking the high road.
Accept yourself.
Jonas Salk, developer of the Salk polio vaccine, had many critics in spite of his incredible contribution to medicine. Of criticism, he observed, “First people will tell you that you are wrong. Then they will tell you that you are right, but what you’re doing really isn’t important. Finally, they will admit that you are right and that what you are doing is very important; but after all, they knew it all the time.”
How do leaders who are out front handle this kind of fickle response from others?
The Serenity Prayer, made famous by Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs, gives direction in this area:
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
If you have endeavored to know yourself, and have worked hard to change yourself, then what more can you do?
Forget yourself.
The final step in the process of effectively handling criticism is to stop focusing on yourself. Secure people forget about themselves so they can focus on others. By doing this, they can face nearly any kind of criticism—and even serve the critic.
I try to live out a sentiment expressed by Parkenham Beatty, who advised, “By your own soul learn to live. And if men thwart you, take no heed. If men hate you, have no care: Sing your song, dream your dream, hope your hope and pray your prayer.”
As leaders, we must always be serious about our responsibilities, but it isn’t healthy for us to take ourselves too seriously. A Chinese proverb says, “Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves. They shall never cease to be entertained.”
***
My friend Joyce Meyer observes, “God will help you be all you can be, but He will never let you be successful at becoming someone else.” We can’t do more than try to be all that we can be. If we do that as leaders, we will give others our best, and we will sometimes takes hits from others. But that’s okay. That is the price for being out front.
Don’t quit during training
Posted by: | Comments“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’”
~Muhammad Ali
Many people make decisions when things aren’t going well. They look for relief in the despair of the valley instead of waiting for the clarity that comes from being on the mountaintop.
Why? Because it takes a lot of effort to get to the mountaintop. And when you’re experiencing the darkness of the valley, it’s always tempting to make changes that you hope will relieve the discomfort.
My advice may be counterintuitive, but quitting during a struggle (or during training like Ali’s quote above) is rarely a good idea. The best time to make decisions is when you’re succeeding. If you fight your way through the valley, you’ll make better decisions at the top of the mountain. Here’s why:
- You can see your situation more clearly.
- You are moving to something, not just from something.
- You leave those around you in a better position.
- You decide using positive data, not negative.
- You are more likely to move from peak to peak instead of valley to valley.
So what should you do in the valley? Persevere. If you keep fighting, you’re likely to get your second wind, just as distance runners do. And it’s said that only when runners are exhausted enough to reach that place do they find out what they can truly accomplish.
If you keep persevering while you are in the valley, not only will you likely make it to the higher ground where you can make better decisions, but you will also have developed character, which will serve you well throughout life.
Use the clarity of mountaintop moments to make major decisions.
~from The Maxwell Daily Reader
