Archive for May, 2010
How do you get your ideas heard?
Posted by: | CommentsRecently, I was asked a question that I hear pretty often.
Usually the questioner is young, perhaps newly-graduated from school. They’re almost always new to their current job. And I can often hear their frustration when they ask:
Please tell me, how can someone just entering the workforce create change?
Maybe you’re familiar with this question. Do you see a need for change in your organization? Are you frustrated because you can’t get anyone else to see it – much less do something about it? Maybe you’ve just graduated from university and gotten your first job. Or perhaps you’re a veteran worker, but newly-hired. Either way, it seems like a cruel joke.
As a new member of the team,
You see things with fresh eyes; you see problems that others might have just gotten used to. And if you’re young, you’re probably willing to take on any challenge.
BUT
You’ve also just joined an established group. No one knows you, so you have no credibility, no trust, no goodwill. You may have wonderful ideas, but how do you impress them on others?
What can you do to be heard?
You need to CONNECT.
Based on the definition I used when I wrote Everyone Communicates, Few Connect,
Connecting is the ability to identify with people
and relate to them in a way that increases
your influence with them.
Think about it: Where does change begin in an organization? With the people! So your ability to communicate and connect with others is a major determining factor in increasing your influence. And increasing your influence with them is your way of making change happen.
Here are some next steps to take:
- Keep in mind that connecting requires energy. You must be intentional – not casual – in your interactions. Devote the time and energy necessary, but DON’T steal it from the work you were hired for. The energy you put toward connection needs to be above and beyond what you’re already doing for your job.
- Focus on others. True connection is all about others. If you’re still working on making your agenda happen (i.e. creating change), that’s not connection; it’s manipulation.
- Work on finding common ground. When two people come together to communicate, each has a reason for doing so. To connect on common ground, you must know your reason and the other person’s reason, then find a way to connect the two.
All of this may sound complicated and roundabout when all you want to do get your goals accomplished. But you need to remember: Making a difference in your work is not about productivity; it’s about people. When you focus on others and connect with them, you can work together to accomplish great things.
What is success?
Posted by: | CommentsIn 1986, when I was 39 years old, I began to notice a terrible trend among my colleagues, college buddies and friends: divorce.
This was happening in a variety of marriages – from the shaky to the apparently strong. Margaret and I didn’t think our relationship was in any kind of danger, but then again, we knew that many of our friends had thought their relationships were indestructible too.
At the same time, my career was really taking off. And while I was enjoying the new challenges, I knew that I didn’t want to lose my family in the process. That prompted me to make one of my key life decisions: rewriting my definition of success. Instead of acclaim or advancement or achievement, I decided that for me,
Success means having those closest to me
love and respect me the most.
This made success for me possible only if I included my wife and children in the journey. From that moment on, my success depended on putting my family first.
If you want to truly succeed in this life, you need to ask yourself a question: Is your pursuit of success drawing you closer to – or farther from – the most important people in your life?
If you want to redefine success the way I did, here are some ways to put your decision into practice:
Determine your priorities.
How much of your calendar is devoted to your family and/or close friends? On your budget and to-do list, where do you write in your loved ones? No relationship can survive for long on leftovers.
Early in my career, I focused so much on work that I neglected Margaret. After I realized this, I changed. I carved out time for her. I protected my day off. And we dedicated money in our budget to facilitate special times together.
It’s been said that a lot can be learned about what a person values by examining two things: their calendar and their bank statement. They show where people spend their time and money. What do those things say about what YOU value?
Decide on your philosophy.
Once your loved ones are a priority, you have to decide together what you want your family to stand for. What values will you live out? For us, the bottom line was to cultivate and maintain:
- Commitment to God,
- Continual growth,
- Common experiences,
- Confidence in God, ourselves and others, and
- Contributions to life.
This was my family’s list. I’m not suggesting that you adopt our philosophy. But I encourage you to take time together to list YOUR non-negotiables. Keep the list short so that you can remember and apply it.
Develop your problem-solving strategy.
I think a lot of people go into marriage expecting it to be easy. Maybe they’ve seen too many movies. Marriage isn’t easy. Family isn’t easy. Close friendships aren’t easy. The best plan is to expect problems, stay committed, and develop a strategy for getting through the rough times.
Talk to your loved ones about how you could improve your problem solving together. (NOTE: Do this during a calm time, not in the middle of a conflict!)
Many problem-solving strategies exist, from family meetings to fair fighting rules. Use the ones that work for you. Just be sure that they foster and promote three things:
- Better understanding,
- Positive change, and
- Growing relationships.
Deciding to redefine success, and acting on that decision, changed the trajectory of my life. Now, 24 years later, I’m still married to the love of my life, both my kids are married with children (my grandangels!), and we all still enjoy spending time together.
Wrapping my definition of success around those I love the most made the difference. And really, when you reach the end of your life, what will be most important to you? Dusty awards granted by acquaintances, or deep connection with those you love?
Be the One… from the Chick-fil-A Leadercast
Posted by: | CommentsA week ago today I had the honor of speaking at the Chick-fil-A Leadercast, and let me tell you: it was phenomenal. The participation of Chick-fil-A Restaurants added so much value to what was already a great conference.
If you follow me on Twitter, you might have seen what I posted on that day. But mine was only one voice. Thousands of others weighed in on Twitter, which is turning out to be an exceptional resource for conferences and events.
How? To connect participants worldwide, the organizers created a Twitter “hashtag” (kind of a label) for all Tweets about the conference: #cfaleadercast. If your Tweet included that hashtag, it was automatically included. The conversation could be searched and indexed and even watched live on that day on various Twitter applications. To read for yourself what people found most inspiring while the conference was going on – and afterward - click here (a simple Twitter search for #cfaleadercast).
For more resources, check out the official Leadercast site:
Here you can find downloads, speaker bios, videos from the event, and more.
Finally, I’d like to share with you a video of the opening, which I found incredibly inspiring. The young lady doing spoken-word poetry is Amena Brown, a poet and speaker. I was delighted to get to meet her that day, and I hope her words speak to you.
If at first you do succeed, try something harder
Posted by: | CommentsThe willingness to take greater risks is a major key to achieving success, and you may be surprised that it can solve two very different kinds of problems.
The problem of hitting ALL of your goals,
AND
The problem of hitting NO goals… because you never make any.
Let’s look at #1: You’re not afraid to set goals and commit to a course of action. That’s the good news. But the goals you set are not hard to meet. In fact, you achieve success in them with little effort or time invested. That’s the bad news, because the road to success is uphill. You can’t coast and climb at the same time. Your solution: Take more risks; set more challenging – even frightening – goals. No, you probably won’t achieve all of them. But you will have stretched yourself and grown in the process. And the successes you have will be that much sweeter.
Now, on to #2: You may work hard and keep busy, but your labor lacks direction. Your successes are haphazard and unrepeatable. You’re like an archer without a target: sending arrow after arrow off in some general direction. Your avoidance of goals probably means you’re afraid to fail. “If I don’t set any goals, then I can’t fail at meeting them,” is your mantra. Again, you’re not taking any risks. Your solution: Paint some targets, in a variety of sizes. Give yourself big, medium and small goals, so you can start succeeding and develop momentum.
For today: Think about something you’d like to achieve. Make it big enough to scare you a little. Now write down a plan for moving toward it. Create mini-goals within the big goal, to set yourself up for continual progress. And include some risks. Find parts of the process where you can push the envelope, take more chances, and increase your opportunity for success.
