If you’ve spent any time on this earth, you know that life contains conflict. And there are times in the life of every leader when he or she needs to fight. But if you fight all the time, you can wear yourself out. That’s why it’s important to pick your battles.
To gain a better perspective on when to fight back and when to “let it go,” practice the following disciplines:
1. Spend time with people who are different from you. This helps you appreciate and understand how others think and work. You will be less inclined to judge or battle them.
2. In matters of personal preference or taste, give in. Keep the main thing the main thing. If you don’t save your energy for what really matters, you’ll wear yourself out and wear out your welcome with others.
3. Don’t take things too personally. In general, hurting people hurt people. And they’re also easily hurt by others. Keep that in mind when you’re on the receiving end of someone’s anger.
4. Practice the 101% Principle. Whenever possible in a difficult situation, find the 1% that you do agree on and give it 100% of your effort.
5. Be a servant leader. If your mindset is to serve rather than be served, you will be less likely to encounter resistance.
The best team doesn’t always win;
it’s usually the team that gets along best.
Adapted from Teamwork Makes the Dreamwork
32 responses so far ↓
1 Olavo Ribeiro // Mar 5, 2010 at 11:11 am
WISDOM! Thanks.
2 Karen // Mar 5, 2010 at 11:16 am
It’s a great one!
3 Jacob // Mar 5, 2010 at 11:26 am
Very good wisdom not only for the work place, but also applys to relationship within the home! Thanks John!
4 Ben Wiles // Mar 5, 2010 at 11:29 am
This is so true! If not careful, we will find ourselves spending all of our time fighting battles instead of living out our Divine Mandate! What a terrible distraction. Thanks for the wisdom here.
5 Jessica Calderon // Mar 5, 2010 at 11:54 am
This comes in the right time, as an answer to a pray.
Thanks and God Bless u
6 Shiketa // Mar 5, 2010 at 12:00 pm
I love this post! I was so inspired I featured it on my blog. I am guilty of allowing my battles to take me off course!! i will be ordering my book this weekend and I will feature the book on my blog!
7 Isuku james // Mar 5, 2010 at 1:24 pm
Wisdom sir. As a Nigerian i’m most grateful to be one of your ardent readers.
8 Well said « Byer's Basic Blog // Mar 5, 2010 at 1:26 pm
[...] Filed under: Uncategorized — joelbyer @ 2:25 pm Pick your battles | John Maxwell on Leadership Leave a [...]
9 Dan Rockwell // Mar 5, 2010 at 2:06 pm
John,
I think we can fixate on irrelevant issues and start fighting the wrong battles.
The other problem is letting our emotions lead.
Here’s an article from fastcompany about fighting right that your readers might enjoy.
http://www.fastcompany.com/article/the-right-fight
Love to visit and read your blogs. Thanks
Leadership Freak
Dan Rockwell
10 Yvonne Green // Mar 5, 2010 at 7:19 pm
Thank you for such Divine wisdom
11 Jerel Seamon // Mar 5, 2010 at 8:51 pm
Wild!! I truely needed that right there. Everyday I am understanding more about letting God handle it and not wanting to fight the problem myself. Reading this and the comments others make only convinces me even more. Thanks!!
12 Furydose // Mar 6, 2010 at 5:44 am
As you mention, leaders cannot fight all battles. A balance is needed between being aggressive and passive.
A lot of people would talk about ‘balance’ as far as how they navigate conflict but it is these same people are the ones not being able to uphold this balance. More often than not, they themselves are the ones who get mistreated in conflicts. There is no perfect ‘balance’, it is not practical.
However, the ‘balance’ can be attempted, which ultimately brings us to an acceptable range. However, people fail to do this for three reasons:
* Lack of objective
* Lack of defining their thresholds
* Lack of self-awareness
I hope by understanding these three point we as leaders can ask the questions that will help us choose our battles in the future.
Thank you, for the insightful post.
13 Barb Giglio // Mar 6, 2010 at 7:43 am
Such great points! #3 about hurting people is so true, if we could just put ourselves aside and realize that sometimes others are faced with bigger battles. Enjoyed the post, have a great weekend!
14 Angie // Mar 6, 2010 at 9:46 am
I agree that we must choose our battles. But, I have questions about a couple of points.
If one does not see “eye to eye”, they cannot agree about the main point, can they?
If one gives 101%, then one is working on something that they cannot support, in any sense. In fact, they are working as their costs, which is unjust. That is something that should never be allowed or asked for.
Being a servant/leader doesn’t mean that you are not assertive or frank about your values, because values are what are of most importance to someone. And without values being in the forefront of one’s commitment of servant/leadership, there is no way to perservre, because the “will” will not be there.
15 Terry Smith // Mar 6, 2010 at 11:27 am
I like this, its been my experience that we cannot get anything worthwhile accomplished until we can all come to a place where can get along with each other, whether we like each other or not…Thanks John! Terry
16 Yuhong // Mar 6, 2010 at 11:31 am
John:
This has reached a remarkable level of thinking! People are usually not easy to do.
I like your speech and your book, let me find a direction! Extremely thank you! Great sage!
Yuhong
2010.3.7
17 Gary Haist // Mar 6, 2010 at 12:52 pm
That is so true about servant leaders because they are focused on the service goals and not on the differences between people. I think the servant is sheilded from some resistance just because the people shooting at them realize they aren’t going to stop them and maybe they were wrong to shoot at them in the first place. That’s the point of grace.
18 Linda // Mar 6, 2010 at 2:35 pm
So needed this…
19 Bryan // Mar 6, 2010 at 4:15 pm
Thanks for the reminder to not take things too personally. Pleasing people instead of please God is a trap we all fall into…including me. God give me the perspective You have — when it simply doesn’t matter (like a preference), help me to see it from Your eyes…that it doesn’t really matter on my deathbed.
20 Scott // Mar 6, 2010 at 4:32 pm
This is good. It may even help my worship team!
21 Peter // Mar 7, 2010 at 12:12 am
What a coincidence that the posts you write that most move me, the ones that while I’m reading them cause me to think, “Oh! Yes! Exactly John! I’ve got to pass this on to all the people I know because they really need to learn and apply this in THEIR LIVES.” The reality is, it’s those posts that contain the “precious gems” that I need to take hold of and make a part of MY LIFE. What a coincidence.
22 Edwardo // Mar 7, 2010 at 10:29 am
On target!
23 Step2more // Mar 7, 2010 at 3:36 pm
[...] is always helpful to the persons who practice it effectively in their life. Here is the link to the original article in his [...]
24 “Pick your battle” but how? « Step2more // Mar 7, 2010 at 3:59 pm
[...] is always helpful to the persons who practice it effectively in their life. Here is the link to the original article in his [...]
25 Tanja // Mar 8, 2010 at 2:35 am
Fantastic! That is my life motto – PICK your battles… some just aint worth the fight…
26 Eddie Howden // Mar 8, 2010 at 4:07 am
Great point on giving in when confronted with personal preference issues. As Paul says, try and be everything to everyone so that you may gain them for Christ
27 Mark Mathson // Mar 8, 2010 at 8:13 am
Great perspective on adding variety, but keeping some familiarity in life. Its important, especially in creating a well rounded individual, but still grounded.
28 maryjane.zavala-padron // Mar 9, 2010 at 9:05 am
Yes, I agree, pick your battles carefully. Pick the battles that are worth fighting for.. and fight to win the cause.
Put on the full armor of God.
As always, many thanks for your insight!!
mjz-p
29 maryjane.zavala-padron // Mar 9, 2010 at 9:05 am
Yes, I agree, pick your battles carefully. Pick the battles that are worth fighting for.. and fight to win the cause.
Put on the full armor of God.
As always, many thanks for your insight!!
mjz-p
30 Pablo // Mar 9, 2010 at 9:07 am
Ask others to criticize you constructively too.
31 Claudia // Mar 9, 2010 at 10:49 am
Is great to learn about other people and learn to agree to disagree, with smile.
32 Sharon // Mar 12, 2010 at 10:34 pm
Thank you, thank you, thank you! These are principles my parents taught me and they have kept me from so much pain in life …and probably from me causing pain to others as well. This is a cause I have championed to teach others.