Be impressed, not impressive
By
Too often we think that if we can impress others, we will gain influence with them. We want to become others’ heroes – to be larger than life. That creates a problem because we’re real live human beings. People can see us for who we really are. If we make it our goal to impress them, we puff up our pride and end up being pretentious – and that turns people off.
If you want to influence others, don’t try to impress them. Pride is really nothing more than a form of selfishness, and pretense is only a way to keep people at arm’s length so that they can’t see who you really are. Instead of impressing others, let them impress you.
It’s really a matter of attitude. The people with charisma, those who attract others to themselves, are individuals who focus on others, not themselves. They ask questions of others. They listen. They don’t try to be the center of attention. And they never try to pretend they’re perfect.
Spend today listening to others and letting them impress you.
~ From The Maxwell Daily Reader
I always enjoy John’s thoughts and comments. Always impresses me! Thanks
John,
Once again you rock it! Thanks for putting this idea in useful, clear, powerful language.
I think sometimes our insecurities keep us from honoring others.
Today’s Leadership Freak Blog is “waffles.” I think what we CAN’T do is nearly as important as what we CAN do. I’m influenced by another’s struggles and frailties as much or more than I am by their abilities.
You always help me
John,
You say so much with so little words. You are impressive!
Here is my approach to creating the distinction with a WIFT (What’s In It for Them) attitude.
I use the pronoun I to open discussions where I want the conversation to show personal interest in the exchange. Example, “I like what you said, can you tell me more”.
So, though I use I often, like you, I try to get others to talk so that I can learn more about what I do not know. Thanks for reminding me of what I tend to forget that makes the difference.
Felix Nater
how to let people know that i’m impressed by them? especially in social media like facebook?
is to liked their status on facebook considered as impressed?
[...] ~ From The Maxwell Daily Reader Send to Facebook [...]
Thanks John, I wanted to talk to your fans that you hear this the other day and I think that comes as a glove, is very difficult to achieve excellence but if we imagine what could perhaps achieve great things
This is so true and an important thing to remember. Finding what is awesome in someone else is always the way to go.
What a diffirent perspective. I think you eluded to this in your book “Winning with People”. It is a great insight, thank you
Great words of advice and wisdom!
Thank you for again reminding us all what leadership and influence should really be about!
John!
Real powerfull teaching!
I’ll share it with my leaders team!
Just what I needed from you today, old friend…
I always say to may leaders “be interested and not interesting”. And I never fail to remind them what you have been teaching throughout the years. . . “People dont care how much you know until they know how much you care”. Its been true from the begining of time and it will continue so.
Thanks for reming us.
Your loyal student
In my closure I obviously meant “.. reminding us”
I didn’t realize,until recently that I was thinking and believing it’s all about me! I have had an awaking!
Thank God .This is definitely for me! Thank you John
Right on John!
Currently reading Becoming a Person of Influence and this single point is a perfect transition into my next chapter of becoming a habitual Listener! Something I can truly say I have the hardest time with, being such a Sanguine/Choleric personality.
Thank you for the thought!
It is very interesting that I use to be this way and after my stroke 2 years ago I have totally changed.
ws-win
It is very interesting that I use to be this way and after my stroke 2 years ago I have totally changed.
ed-win
I belive that today’s teaching is correct ;guess I’ve been doing the above ,for awhile,and it’s nevere to late to check yourself,and keep a humble mind an heart. it’s all about severing other’s and maintaing that christ like mind an heart.be blessed people!James
John:
If anyone else is like me, you can probably relate to the following: I have so often felt the need to affirm myself, and so to find a way to let others know that this is not just some bumpkin they’re talking to/considering hiring/learning from/teaching, that all too often I have taken the path of least resistance and found a way to work into the conversation a litany of my accomplishments.
What a mistake. I sure wish that it hadn’t taken me this long to learn it. Your affirmation of that, and frankly your insight in everything I’ve ever heard or read from you, is an ongoing kick in the pants (in your gentle way).
Thank you!!
I have been following John since 1978 and his thoughts, advice and wisdom has never failed to keep me centered.
There is still so much to learn about leadership that it would take many life times but we only have one so let’s not waste it on regrets, lost opportunities and past failure. Rather I for one will daily focus on others in everything I do and continue to seek to leave a legacy that will be one of service not impressive deeds.
Have a great day – keep following to lead!
GRacias por esta reflexion me hace entender que no debemos apantallar a nuestros colaboradores dandoles una impresion que no es mas que orgullo y centro de atencion, que valioso es poner la atencion en todos aquellos que necesitan nuestra atencion y ayuda, una llamada, un tiempo de compartir alrededor de un cafe y valorar sus problemas y sus bendiciones. Gracias John Maxwell bendigo tu vida, saludos
Once again you have gotten to the heart of the human challenge in just a few words John Maxwell!
“Pride is really nothing more than a form of selfishness…” how very true those words are! Prov 13:10 says [NKJ] By pride comes nothing but strife. Self-centeredness..by either a poor ego or an overinflated one, causes nothing but strife. True humility (recognizing who God says we are) makes us lights in this word to shine for others to follow.
You SHINE John Maxwell!
This reminds me of something that Joyce Meyer said ” Humble does not think humble just does — but if you think you are humble than you are haughty which means proud.”
I want to say thank you for allowing God to use you to stretch me spiritually.
Thank you for this teaching, I really learned a lot with this word.
greetings
Norberto Abrego
How great! Taking the ego out of the mix releases our love for others.
When I truly appreciate everyone else, the universe sings my song.
Thanks, John, for your inspired teaching!
Well said. Along the same lines, Jim Collins in Good to Great warned against “spend(ing) too much time trying to be interesting” instead of “investing more time being interested.”
Thank you John for blessing me with that wonderful peace of wisdom.
Blessings from Papua New Guinea
Thank you for sharing wisdom that the Lord bestowed in you..
Praying that you will visit us again here in Philippines.
Godbless you so much.
I have to confess that I have not try to be impressed but impressive. Great article thank you!
To be impressed will be this weeks work on my leadership skill
The 5 mins taken to read this short passage has changed my mindset totally about how to be a better leader. Thanks for reminding me of what is truly important in leadership-people =)
John, some much depth in so few words. I love the way God works… sends us what we need at just the right time. I needed this.
Thanks,
Milton
gracias, por ayudarme a pensar como es debido un saludo desde Chile
John
He leído los comentarios son muy buenos ya que cada experiencia es diferente.
No hay problema tan grande que Dios no resuelva,
No hay enfermedad o angustia que Dios no la sane.
Hace seis meses un voraz incendio destruyo totalmente mi casa habitación.
Era de madrugada, dormíamos mi esposo, yo y mi hija(25 años),
Gracias a Dios unas vecinas nos despertaron.
Angustia, dolor, amargura, impotencia.
Nos aferramos el Señor y dejamos que El hiciera misericordia, estamos aun muy dolidos pero no derrotados, seguimos a la sombra del omnipotente, DIOS es nuestro amparo y fortaleza.
El nos dará nuestra casa nuevamente lo sabemos muy bien, quise compartir con Uds. Parte de mi experiencia espero que sea útil en parte a los que estén pasando problemas, hay que tomar la mano
del Señor y caminar con el, nada mas.
Este comentario corresponde al del 04 de febrero2010
John your articles have a big influence on me, but i want to ask: ¿Everything about leader ship has been wroted??
I want to wrote about leadership too, but i want to wrote originals and efective ideas.
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