126 responses so far ↓

• 1 Adam Jones // Nov 9, 2009 at 12:24 am

  Well written, once again… I only have one real problem and that is with the conclusion… As I was reading through the chapter, I kept thinking about Moses and had in mind what I was going to suggest about his leadership but then I hit the conclusion and you beat me to it! I guess you do know what you’re doing after all…

  I loved the sections on credibility, accountability and recognizing your strengths/weaknesses. After 10 years of ministry, I’m just beginning to realize these principles in my life and your books have been a significant influence on my journey. Thank you.

  Integrity is huge when it comes to leadership. Pharisaical leadership is just good enough to help you fail spectacularly. True, failure can be one of the most beneficial leadership “growth tools” on the market, but leading with a lack of integrity is choosing to fail before your first step.

  I choose to live a life of integrity and allow that life to be a beacon drawing followers toward Christ. If – no, when – I fail, it’s because of a leadership deficit, not a life deficit.

  Thanks again for sharing your newest work… It’s been awesome to share in!

  Adam Jones

• 2 MARY MARTINEZ // Nov 9, 2009 at 12:28 am

  I DISAGREE WITH YOUR STATEMENT THAT PEOPLE AACCEPT NEW LEARDERS ON COMMUNICTION SKILLS FIRST. THE FIRST THING WHEITHER ITS A CANADATE OR A BOSS IS BASED ON THE OPINION OF OTHERS. WHAT THE MEDIA SAYS OR A CELEBRITY SUPPORT OF A CANDIDATE. IT HYPE THAT EITHER DRAWS US TO OUR REPELLS, AS PEOPLE PICK OUT THE CHARACTERISTICS THEY HAVE HEARD TO BE OF THIS PERSON. LATER WHEN THEY GET SETTLED AND FEEL THEY HAVE A RIGHT OR ARE APART OF THE CROWD WILL THEY MAKE THEIR REAL DECISION

• 3 Nicole Wyatt // Nov 9, 2009 at 12:48 am

  I think this is a great chapter however it almost loses the reader half way through, and then picks back up again. I believe it can actually be turned into 2 chapters! With a summary half way through, I believe these important words written will not be lost “in the crowd.” Communication is such an important topic, it would definitely be worth adding another chapter or two.

  Families, Friends, and Co-Workers alike, we all need to learn how to communicate better. There obviously is a disconnect in the world, seeing as the divorce rate has never been higher and wars are being fought over only George Bush knows what. Communication is the key to success in life, business, marriage and family. Thank you for this chapter about how we all communicate but can lack the ability to connect. I pray that as we put more time and effort into watching over the words that are coming out of our mouth, making them words of life, positive and effective, that our communication will not only improve, but begin to pierce through the facade of fake communication that society has built up.

  I believe we need to begin to get “real” and honest. If we are not willing to speak the truth in love, then it’s probably best left unsaid. With that said, I thank you again Mr. Maxwell. You are a powerful and effective leader, and look forward to reading your new book in its entirety.

• 4 Rhonda Baker // Nov 9, 2009 at 1:07 am

  Another excellent chapter – can’t wait for your book to come out in its entirety since I’ve missed some of the chapters.
  I might consider making it more personally applicable in the concluding paragraph by expanding after “so start taking steps . . . ” by giving a powerful example of how it worked in your own personal life, perhaps with your wife, one of your children, or beginning to connect with your own staff. It may give the conclusion more inspiration to put into practice what the reader has just read.
  What a blessing your writing has been in my own life. Thank you.

• 5 Sue Cartun // Nov 9, 2009 at 1:35 am

  It’s been a great ride – learned a lot and have a lot to learn yet – about connecting for better communication.

  This phrase rang true and seems pivital to the chapter: “…effectiveness of the communication relies more on the character of the messenger than on the content of the message.” Indeed. Thank you John Maxwell.

• 6 MaryAnne // Nov 9, 2009 at 2:11 am

  I read the chapter. It flowed well. You presented your points effectively and I felt I came away with great information. As I read a previous post, I did think about making this chapter two but, I think the progressive points you wanted to show tied in nicely. By the end however, I feel like you tried to bring it all together but it was too much information to bring in. The Moses example was excellent. It demonstrated the many different points you explained. Maybe using Moses in the beginning and using him as the primary example with each point can bring it all together without it seeming so crowded.

  Futhermore, I did see a couple of mistakes.
  In “Connect With Yourself”
  1st paragraph, last sentence
  “And then we have {to} potential should be {the} potential

  “Make Amends”
  (It seems the way you speak you use alot of “And’s” to start your sentences which is fine but in some instances you don’t need them. For example instead of “And of course” try “Of course” drop the “And”. This isn’t of the highest consequence since most people are reading for content not for correction. Furthermore, if it takes away your voice to the reader, it should be kept. If it doesn’t it should be dismissed.

  “Tell The Truth”
  1st paragraph, 2nd sentence
  change, “the doctor asked {to} man…” to “the doctore asked {the} man…”

  Question: Should the {he} in “he asked.” be capitalized? I saw several times when it wasn’t but then I saw an “I answered.” I am not quite sure of the rule but I know there should be consistency and that it is a sentence.

  “Do As I Say, Not As I Do”
  3rd paragraph, 1st sentence
  “first hand” should be one word “Firsthand”

  10th paragraph, 1st sentence
  There should be a period after “them” in the quotation.

  Those are all the things I could see for now. I agree with the points you have presented and can’t wait to buy a copy! Thanks for letting me share my input continue to do an excellent job motivating and challenging people!

  MaryAnne

• 7 Darrell Irwin // Nov 9, 2009 at 2:44 am

  A true connector trancends generations and what enhanced Moses credibilty was inspiring Joshua. The most powerful principle being – Every Moses must have a Joshua – your credibility is ultimately confirmed by what others do when you’ve graduated!

• 8 Lucas Nel // Nov 9, 2009 at 5:02 am

  I liked all of the modern day “real world” examples which further helps illustrate these principles, but I really liked the strong conclusion with the example of Moses at the end. It truly inspired me to keep my commitment to self development by “connecting with myself” and to continue to grow and develop not just my strengths, but particularly my weaknesses.

  Because of our weaknesses, we tend to hesitate before we act or communicate, thereby losing out on one of the most valuable contributors, “experience”. We also simply cannot act to soon, so understanding this balance is key. How and when I communicate during this internal tug of war is one of my weaknesses, and this crowd sourcing experiment (which, by the way, is a very progressive concept that I love !) has already given me some golden nuggets of wisdom and advice on how to start addressing this weakness.

  “Connectors Live What They Communicate” and “Deliver results”

  Dear John,

  I have had the honor to have met you and shake your hand in probably the most unlikely of places I could ever imagine – in the galley of a plane 2 hours before landing and after an 18 hour overnight flight back from South Africa to Washington DC in March of this year. Not only have you accumulated enormous wisdom and knowledge in your life which your share freely, but you truly practice what you preach, which adds greatly to your integrity and the reason why I am such a big fan of your work. Thank you so much !

  This will be another timeless “Maxwell Must” and best seller full of wisdom based on enormous knowledge, insight AND experience. I cannot wait to get my hands on the final copy and to add a copy to my daughter’s “Leadership Library”. She will be 4 next year and hopefully able to start reading it soon

• 9 Bob Garbett // Nov 9, 2009 at 7:05 am

  One of the first people I thought of as I read this chapter was a second lieutenant assigned to our unit when I was in the Marine Corps.

  He was fresh out of Officer Candidate School and obviously overwhelmed in his new assignment. His first day, he called all of the Non-Commissioned Officers together and told us he was counting on us to teach him. He said, “Don’t hurt me, I’m trusting you.” I never forgot his words and he quickly began to grow into his role in everyone’s eyes.

  Question – in the section “The Golden Rule” did Jim Blanchard give his personal cell phone number to everyone in the country, or should it be company?

  Thank you for allowing us to take part in this journey!

• 10 Diane Neff // Nov 9, 2009 at 7:17 am

  Finally – someone is calling out those motivational speakers who are all rhetoric without substance! We all love to see pretty pictures and hear success stories, but without some personal effort behind their substance, we could be watching and listening to a paid actor for a product rather than a connector, a true motivator with passion and humility. In the end, I think people want to follow those who have shown, not told, how to connect, not just a rah-rah talking commercial cheerleader!

• 11 Al White // Nov 9, 2009 at 7:54 am

  Fantastic chapter. Using Moses as the close ties it all together nicely; Moses exemplifies all the things you have said about connecting – both the positive and the negative.

  Only one small grammatical tweak I would suggest, from the paragraph immediately before “Right your Wrongs” – “I hope you will starting now.” This reads funny – either it should be “I hope you will start now”, or “I hope you will – starting now”. Without the pause added by the dash, it sounds like you used the wrong verb form – even though on the second reading, I understood exactly what was intended.

  “Education is what remains after you forget everything that you have learned” – to paraphrase George Savile. Even if I forget every word you have written, the changes you have made in my life will remain. Thank you!

  Al

• 12 Laura Surovik // Nov 9, 2009 at 8:02 am

  Dear John,
  Thank you for another powerful chapter. I loved your thoughts on trust.
  It is vital as a leaders that our audio matches or video. This makes us follow worthy.
  You are a hero leader to me. I use your teachings to shape positive behavior within our killer whale family and training team at SeaWorld. I am excited to read your new book and share it with my team.
  Giant Thanks,
  Laura

• 13 Tanja van Zyl // Nov 9, 2009 at 8:21 am

  I am in Human Resources and the further I read this chapter, the more I realised that especially dealing with people in HR, I need to be CREDIBLE at all times!! Thus was the pointers and the shared knowledge in this chapter a “wake-up” call to keep on keeping on… Credibility also ties in with integrity for me. People with integrity will DO as they SAY in line with the Golden Rule too!!
  I will cetainly strive to keep this chapter in mind always.

• 14 Alison Gitelson // Nov 9, 2009 at 8:43 am

  In chapter 8 you told the story of the lady describing diaper changing in terms of baseball. I loved the story so my comments are not intended to change the chapter and therefore I hope you will read them even though they are late.
  When I read the story I was struck by the difficulties of communicating and connecting with people of different nationalities and cultures. I am a 45 year old woman born in England who has lived most of my life in South Africa. We don’t play baseball here. Thanks to American films many of us do have some very rudimentary knowledge of the game. So with a little concentration and a reread I could appreciate the diaper change story. However it isn’t as easily assimilated here as it would be in the States.
  Recently a lovely lady, Dr Jackie Black, was speaking in Johannesburg, to a meeting of the ICF (International Coach Federation). In teaching a concept she gave an analogy to a product which meant nothing to us. I couldn’t even catch the name as it was so unfamiliar. Full credit to her as she quickly noticed she hadn’t got any response from the audience. She then asked us who is a well known cereal manufacturer in SA. We responded “Kelloggs” and she got back on track with “imagine Kelloggs Cornflakes….
  I think we in SA are fairly conscious of “translating” for overseas visitors. If those visitors are from England or the States we often know their version of English from films. For other visitors we have to be more descriptive. It doesn’t seem to me that Americans are as aware that we don’t all speak the same English.
  Again here in SA we live in a very diverse society so have to be very aware of our audience all the time. From a language, culture, education, socio economic perspective.
  I would love to hear your thoughts.
  By the way I had the pleasure of hearing you speak at a N21 function in Johannesburg many years ago. I can confirm that you connected with me and that audience. It was a great experience. Thank you.

• 15 Sunnie Templeton // Nov 9, 2009 at 9:20 am

  WOW…..Just reading this chapter has me on fire to read the whole book! Fabulous!

  However, since you asked………..

  The passage regarding your hiring skills, well, it just SHOUTED at me! What an incredible piece of humble pie….What transparency! Beautifully written…….

  You mentioned you have 4 strengths, but you failed to tell us what they were……It left me hanging and wanting to know more:)

  In the section, “Lead the Way You Live”…The last paragraph regarding communicators and connectors…..This is so powerful, yet it is condensed to a mere paragraph…..I feel another book or full chapter on being a “Connector” would benefit many! Elaborate if possible….

  In your section “Follow the Golden Rule,” I love the Monkey and Tree Act, but I felt in limbo just a bit to the relevance to that particular story……..Very cute, but the following info didn’t pull the story through for the impact…….

  Agree with Al regarding “Right your Wrongs”–”I hope you will starting now.”…..Perhaps it should be “I hope you will……Starting NOW!”

  John……..Thank you for keeping the faith………
  Can’t wait to buy a case of your books!!!
  Sunnie Templeton

• 16 Michael Barnes // Nov 9, 2009 at 9:22 am

  John, from your pastor days remember the story of Elijah and Elisha as they crossed the Jordan river? It serves as a great reflection on the points you’ve made in this chapter because Elisha could have easily missed his life’s call if he had not been tuned in to the communication from Elijiah. Communication is multi-functional(work, ministry and living) and it crosses generations(it will reproduce itself in others around us). The “mantle” of being a connected communicator can fall on any of us. Thanks for another rich thought provoking chapter……

• 17 Chaplain Steph // Nov 9, 2009 at 9:28 am

  Well done. If I could humbly suggest the topic of commitment weigh in more? When I first began in the corrections ministry one of the “rules” most all facilities give is; “Don’t make any promises you can’t keep”. I thought and prayed a lot about that. We cannot hope to connect with others and have any credibility whatsoever if we don’t listen long enough to know a need and find out if we’re to be used to meet the need, then commit with responsibility, character and integrity to do what we say we’ll do. Most of the time the commitment is to “Be there” when someone needs you. Making responsible commitments to others and keeping them develops trust and is a character revealing part of communication while the integrity and credibility of the person will be known by the fulfillment thereof.

• 18 Sandy Gorman // Nov 9, 2009 at 9:40 am

  When the leader and the followers help each other, they share in the success.

  I have learned much and have enjoyed the collaboration activity. I look forward to the publication of your new book about making connections in March, 2010.

• 19 Rev Ed Hird // Nov 9, 2009 at 9:48 am

  There is much discouragement out there. This chapter speaks hope and genuineness. Thank you.

• 20 J.Pinheiro // Nov 9, 2009 at 9:57 am

  I have found a correction that should be made in
  Connect with yourself:

  the end of the sentence reads: , I hope you will starting now.

• 21 Brandon Byler // Nov 9, 2009 at 10:37 am

  Dear John,

  Thank you for another great book! I’m looking forward to its release. You have challenged me to think more carefully about the value of other people’s trust in another book you’ve written. I’ve been pastoring a wonderful, small church for the past six years. Even though we haven’t experienced amazing growth–we do have a good family feeling and continue to do what we can for our community. I believe I am starting to reap the rewards of trust by being there and staying true “long-term.”
  Thank you for the great impact you are having on my leadership.

• 22 Bruce Baker // Nov 9, 2009 at 11:49 am

  Dear John,

  Thank you for sharing this book in this new way before publication. I am sure that your eventual sales will be increased by the incites gained and the goodwill created.

  Here are my thoughts:

  You Are Your Message
  Faking it does not work. We are transparent in spite of our efforts to the contrary. The youngest child can see the parents are living by saying one thing and doing another. About the only one I seem to deceive in my life is myself.

  Connect with Yourself
  To bring a little of Rick Warren here. Without a purpose you are lost. I do not believe that anyone and truly connect with yourself without connecting with their purpose. I realize who your audience is with this book but the first step is prayer.

  Lead the Way You Live
  Is seems to me that this section should be titled Live the Way You Lead. This is a real chicken and egg situation.

• 23 Charlie Kentnor // Nov 9, 2009 at 12:26 pm

  Thanks to a link I receive via FaceBook from my broker, I have enjoyed reading most of the chapters. You are succinct and right on about things we need to learn and practice. I am however, disappointed in the last chapter. It lacks the energy to make the reader get out there and embrace and practice the message which has been conveyed in the nine previous chapters. I hope you can strengthen it before publication. Otherwise, you have conveyed a great message which we should all embrace.

• 24 Michelle Pack // Nov 9, 2009 at 12:46 pm

  “The single greatest cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable”
  Manning, Brennan

  “Write what you know” – Mark Twain

  “Truth to be understood, must be lived” – Charlie Peacock

  Another Golden Rule example: “At Four Seasons, corporate values are much more than a programme or a policy – they define who we are and inform the decisions we make. The company’s guiding principle is the Golden Rule – to treat others as you wish to be treated – and as such, Four Seasons strives to have a long-lasting, positive influence on the communities where we operate and on the people we employ and serve around the world. We believe that this goal is integral to our success as a company.” http://www.fourseasons.com/about_us/corporate_values/

  In one meeting, a General Manager was looking to improve ratings and asked the entire hotel staff to express ways of improvement. One employee said, “I don’t feel that you respect me.” The GM replied, “That’s ridiculous!” The ratings fell and that GM was transferred. Management’s failure to listen, admit and respond to employees whose entire job is to listen, admit, and respond to customers is the worst possible training; it promotes service failures from the top dog to the bottom dollar.

  …and you follow up my very question on Chapter 9 BEAUTIFULLY in Chapter 10. Perfect! I can almost hear “wait for it, wait for it…” Thank you!

  …and how many leaders, over time – even recently in TIME MAGAZINE, have compared Moses to Presidents, including this last one. The articles focus on the leader more than the Leader, missing a good deal of the point of the Exodus story, but he certainly is the poster boy for “leading the masses.”

  Thank you, John. A wonderful revelation that I’m already putting into practice in my own life and in the lives of others….as is the practice of John Maxwell communicaitons.

  Thank you for every influencial and practical chapter..and for allowing and promoting conversation over it all.

• 25 Ryan Maraziti // Nov 9, 2009 at 1:08 pm

  One of the most important lessons I have learned in communicating with people is to believe in them – I just don’t believe them. By this I mean people will tell you what they think you want to hear. We hope to create an atmosphere of honesty however most don’t know how to handle the “honest truth” because it involves us personally. Our acceptance of the “truth” about our own weaknesses threatens our self image and we’d rather avoid than engage. To be an effective communicator, I believe you need to engage with others, but travel with mental armour. You will need to accept the fact that you will get hit with an occasional bullet – but if you have bulletproofed your mind, attitude and self-image, you can engage and not be “killed”. Let’s face it, you’re gonna get hit, but in the end, the mental armour you prepare will keep you alive.

  The second part of the lesson I have learned in communicating with others is that I watch what people do instead of hearing what they say. I like the phrase, “Your actions are speaking so loud, I can’t hear your words.” It seems to sum up the idea that effective communication is not just listening, but engaging. Engage to understand but more importantly engage to grow. Grow from being battle tested and learn to react and respond to those who you are looking to communicate with.

• 26 Daniel J. Larsen // Nov 9, 2009 at 2:08 pm

  Dear John,

  Another wonderful chapter.

  Peices that really spoke to me personally were…the Moses part and the ability of a man to gather a whole people and help them move.

  The other part that spoke to me was the part about how President Obama had recognized his mistake and the Daschle comment. This brought into my mind the first election of President George W. Bush. There was a controversy that happened when the media discovered his drinking in college. Well to his credit President Bush admitted he had drank in college. I felt at the time that it was a turning point in the election. I felt myself that President Bush was more relateable and that he was human. Might be something also to add…

  Thank you again for posting this book on the internet and letting us help. I myself have had a good time reading and sending my comments where I felt they were appropriate…

• 27 Doug Wilson // Nov 9, 2009 at 3:13 pm

  John:

  Thanks again for a great chapter, and for giving your readers the opportunity to have a small part in it.

  Under the heading “Connect with Yourself” you wrote “The second step comes from liking ourselves, and that comes from self-talk.” It reminded me of a great quote from British preacher Martyn Lloyd-Jones:

  “Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself?”

  Another related quote about self-talk comes from Paul Tripp:

  “No one is more influential in your life than you are because no one talks to you more than you do. You’re in an unending conversation with yourself. You’re talking to yourself all the time, interpreting, organizing, and analyzing what’s going on inside you and around you. …you are constantly involved in an internal conversation that greatly influences the things you decide, say, and do….”

  [A typo: You wrote about President Obama’s failed nomination of Tom Daschal. It should be Senator Tom Daschle.]

• 28 Raul dela Rosa // Nov 9, 2009 at 3:42 pm

  I like your second way in liking yourself is about self talk. Whatever you tell yourself really influence you. I have ran several marathons and whenever I’m on the 20th or 21st mile..where everything hurts…my self talk really carries me to the 26th mile. Thank you John for another great chapter.

• 29 Larry Phillips // Nov 9, 2009 at 4:43 pm

  Do As I Say—Not As I Do! John I would only add that for leaders and communicator to avoid the pitfall you’ve mentioned, we must remember leadership is about the right to go first-let me explain. If there is a sacrifice to be made-the leader sacrifices first. If there is a price to be paid-the leader pays it first. If there is a vision to be cast-the leader envisions it first. If there is creditability to be built-the leader builds it first. If there is honesty desired—the leader demonstrates it first. If there are fences to mend-the leader mends them first!
  Power, Positions and Perks minus Personal Character make for a destructive leader in any organization.

• 30 Shari Risoff // Nov 9, 2009 at 7:11 pm

  As always, great writing. Found one little error in this sentence: “In the first six months of a relationship—whether its personal or professional… ” needs to be IT’S.

  Otherwise – excellent!
  Again, thank you for letting us be part of this journey.

• 31 Subu Musti // Nov 9, 2009 at 7:49 pm

  Hi John,
  Your words are a great inspiration to me. I do fail many a times in my attempts to communicate and connect, and your words inspire me to keep trying, hoping to make it better the next time.

  Credibility is such a strong headwind, it will either mask the message or aid it, no matter how you introduce it. Mr. Sewell is right on, “you earn it a nickel and penny at a time” but “you have to expend it by the dollar”. So is teamwork in making that vision come true. I have had the fortune of seeing the customer service Sewell dealerships offer at their Lexus dealership in Fort Worth. It is truly incredible.

• 32 Tim Ard // Nov 9, 2009 at 8:51 pm

  Read this today on their website…

  When one teaches, two learn.
  When two teach, four learn.
  Thus, we create our future.
  Annual Motto, 1999
  Safety Systems Inc. Oahu, HI

• 33 Dave Wheeler // Nov 9, 2009 at 9:14 pm

  Exceptional! As a follower, I always found credibility and consistency to be the two attributes differentiated managers from leaders. In the years I worked in organizational development, a leaders ability to establish credibility was the single reason that organizational change initiatives succeeded or failed. Credibility eliminates fear and fear is a major reason people are adverse to change. Credibility is indeed a leaders greatest capital. Terrific chapter…

• 34 Barry Cameron // Nov 9, 2009 at 9:27 pm

  Another great chapter, John. May I suggest some quotes you might want to consider to add a little spice? They come from David Gergen’s excellent book, “Eyewitness To Power: The Essence of Leadership Nixon To Clinton.” #1 – “Consciously or not, Reagan was f0llowing in a tradition set early in the century by Teddy Roosevelt and picked up by Woodrow Wilson in his first term, then by Franklin Roosevelt and John Kennedy. Each understood a fundamental lesson: that leaders must inspire people with confidence in the future. Only if he truly believes in the future himself will his followers make the leap and join him. Optimism is contagious.” (Pg. 203, paragraph 2). #2 – “In the best of circumstances, the man and the messenger meet – when a leader has gained the respect of his audience and also has something to say. Reagan, in his farewell address to the nation on January 11, 1989, offered this assessment, ‘I won a nickname, “The Great Communicator.” But I never thought it was my style or the words I used that made a difference: It was the the content. I wasn’t a great communicator, but I communicated great things.’ (Page 216, paragraph 3). #3 – “Speeches take place within a context, never in a vacuum. Listeners bring to the occasion not only their own dreams and frustrations, but also a range of questions about the speaker. Who is he down deep? What does he stand for? Does he speak with authority? Does he care about people like me? Can I place my faith and trust in him? Does he have the capacity to make a difference? Who the speaker is speaks a loudly as anything he says.” (Page 215-216.) Just a thought. Thanks for listening . . . and writing. God bless!

• 35 Yvonne Green // Nov 9, 2009 at 9:31 pm

  I want to thank you for stretching me spirtually but not all at once.

  A wise person once said to seek out people who are where we want to be. Listen to them, study them, observe how they handle situation and little be little without even realizing it you will begin to display some of their characteristics. Not every reader is a leader but one thing is for sure those who lead guard what they hear, read, and those who disciple them. They pay close attention to their inner circle. They are very careful what to let in.

• 36 Htaik Seng // Nov 9, 2009 at 10:33 pm

  Connect with heart and soul, it simple!

• 37 Carol Shannon // Nov 9, 2009 at 10:41 pm

  I liked the conclusion. The story of Moses was a simple but decisive and well applied end.

• 38 Tom Cocklereece // Nov 9, 2009 at 10:57 pm

  I particularly liked this chapter. Much of the selections I have read deal with verbal and even life-style communication, which are important. However, in this age of cell phones and texting, one of the most effective ways leaders may connect is with “presence,” defined as “living in the moment. A couple of years ago a physician hired me to provide executive coaching for himself. He finally had come to the realization of some of his own weaknesses that diminished his leadership effectiveness. However, there was something affecting his leadership at every essential level including trust. I observed that when he was communicating with subordinates and peers alike, he was often checking his text messages and emails instead of connecting. His behavior did little to instill confidence or trust and in fact undermined his positive leadership qualities. Leaders instill trust, authenticity, and motivate others to join in the vision only if they practice presence in the moment.

• 39 Richard Whitehead // Nov 9, 2009 at 11:06 pm

  Thank you so much for allowing me to be part of this process.

  I love how you tied it ALL together with Moses as the example. No matter how you start; it’s that you learn and grow along the way to finish well.

  Rick

• 40 Shalini // Nov 9, 2009 at 11:30 pm

  John, I’ve read some books of your and never miss you with Joyce in her program. I’ve learnt a lot from you and all those things that you’ve explained in the chapter are so well written.
  I would like to share with you something about it. Myself and my husband apart from running our own company run a Foundation(URL on top) in India. Through the Foundation we publish books twice a year which has articles written by myself and my husband, through which we share our personal experiences with God in our daily life. One day I went to the Post Office to post the ordered copies and the person in charge there asked me whether we really followed or lived such a God ordained life(she had read one of our publications). Initially I was take aback by her query but then I realized that she was not wrong in asking me this. Reason being there is hardly any credibility left in our Leaders who know how to give lectures written by someone else but do not follow an iota in their daily lives. It’s sad but true, few days back there was a leadership summit by one of the leading news paper in India and they had invited two celebrities who spoke -about Incredible India and how as leaders we need to do our bit, I wondered. These two celebrities, who the young generation of our country was crazy about and girls took her as their role model, where living in a live-in relationship with each other and not even paying their taxes to the government. It’s sad but are these the future public mentors for our young generation?

• 41 Ryan // Nov 9, 2009 at 11:32 pm

  Thanks again for the opportunity to be a part of a communication/connection project. You practiced exactly what you preached. This would be a pretty good idea for an English class. I am sure this book will be another best seller! I have learned a great deal, and enjoyed the entire process. Best Wishes.

  Ryan

• 42 Robert Nicholson // Nov 9, 2009 at 11:46 pm

  Hello Dr Maxwell
  Here is my contribution for this week.
  It has been fun.
  I know what you’re thinking and you are correct.
  I don’t get out much.

  Suggestions:
  Paragraph 2;
  “…we focus on a person’s communication ability to make judgments about them.”
  Try,
  …we are constantly putting them under a magnifier and scoring them. I had a
  boss once who taught me what to do about it. Whatever we do if we make sure we do it for a valid reason and communicate it many difficulties or poor scores will not manifest.

  Heading: Connect with Yourself.
  Final paragraph;

  “I believe you will be able to do what you were created for only if you know and connect with yourself. And you will also be able to better connect with others and add value to them if you know what you do and don’t have to offer.”

  Try,

  I believe you will be able to do what you were created for only if you connect internally. So what does that mean John? It means have an internal dialogue that keeps you consistent. It is often referred to as integrity. Know what
  you stand for and keep to it. How you connect should have your personal stamp on it whether you are a communicator,teacher, leader or follower. The Bible says, “…the truth shall make you free.” Jn 8:32 (NKJV). This is true whether you are talking to God or to yourself so be honest, first with yourself and then with others. This creates an environment where you can, more consistenly and successfuly, add value into others lives.

  Thanks and blessings
  Robert.

  Typos….

  Heading: Connect with Yourself.
  Paragraph one.
  “And then we have (to) potential to connect with them.” Perhaps the word in
  brackets should be “the”.

  Heading: Tell The Truth.
  Paragraph one.
  “After the examination, the doctor asked (to) man to go out to the waiting room…”
  Perhaps the word in brackets shoud be “the”.

• 43 lois mwende // Nov 10, 2009 at 2:36 am

  wow! u r blessed and thanks for sharing this with many of us….its been a great read coz am in a situation where am leading a group of youths and realy need the keys to connect with them…and for sure it takes effort but surely wil do it by grace…
  i admit nobody likes the ‘know it all folks’ and we have to be honest with ourselves that we cant know everything…be vulnerable!!! I love it
  thanks again

• 44 Joanna Jayaprakash // Nov 10, 2009 at 5:16 am

  As I was going through the chapter, one point in particular spoke to me a little louder than the rest:

  Be vulnerable – “You think your people don’t already know your weaknesses. They do. By admitting them, you’re letting them know that you know them.”

  I can relate it to my experience as a young woman in a leadership position at the age of 23. All of a sudden, I was placed as one of the three Assistant Directors in government service. With a department under my responsibility, consisting of staff way above my age, some even almost reaching retirement, I felt like a child in boots too large for my feet. I was young, small in size, inexperienced, new to the place, and I didn’t know my way around so many things.

  I decided to be very open with my staff and told them my weaknesses, revealing how much I depended on their knowledge and experience to run the department (which they obviously already knew). I always felt grateful when my assistants backed me up in meetings, when they guided me in situations where others tried to mislead me into wrong decisions and simply when I wasn’t sure of what to say.

  I used to think I was lucky. But now, after three years, I have to say it wasn’t plain luck. I have learned from John that being vulnerable helps to connect with people. The support my staff offered me was the result of that principle in practice – I just wasn’t aware of it then.

  Thank you, John, for sharing your wisdom and insight! God bless you always.

• 45 david seow // Nov 10, 2009 at 10:23 am

  Hi John, thank you for sharing.

  Sorry that I will give suggestion bit by bit, as I could not wait to write out to you.

  “Trust means confidence”

  I think “Trust is more than confidence”.

  I am confident on some one skill in protecting me, but I do not want him to protect me as I could not trust him!

  I had trust on some one because I feel more secure, more safe, more sincere, more comfortable in dealing with him.

  Confidence alone will not make people trust you, if you did not possess good characters to let people feel it.

• 46 Debbie Reno // Nov 10, 2009 at 11:36 am

  Great book! Can’t wait to purchase it and have it as part of my collection next Spring!

• 47 Mark Ralls // Nov 10, 2009 at 2:47 pm

  Thanks John, another great chapter.

  When you spoke at the beginning of the chapter I got an image in my head of a person that worked for me in the past.

  He had a way of quickly connecting with people. That is one of the reasons I hired him in the first place. But about 6 to 8 months later things changed. He hadn’t changed, but my view of him had.

  His character did not live up to his words.

  I understand the dynamic much better now.

• 48 Lonnie // Nov 10, 2009 at 3:35 pm

  I haven’t had a chance to read through the whole book, but I have caught the last 4 chapters. I’ve thought about how I communicate as a pastor and why. For me Jesus is the great communicator. People flocked around him and they said about him, “He speaks as one with authority… unlike the Teachers of the Law.” Jesus had credibility because he didn’t speak about God, he spoke OF God to the people in terms that they could understand. Relationship matters. I realized that before talking with youth that if I spent even a few minutes just hanging out with them, that when I spoke out of my personal experience with God that it had greater impact.

  As I’ve thought about this book I was reminded of my grandpa who had been Superintendent of schools in Waverly, IA for 25 years. At his funeral it was frequently repeated, “Glenn always hired character before ability. You either have character or you don’t, but you can teach ability.” That’s something as a dad that I try to teach my boys everyday. Character counts!

• 49 Preston Lawrence // Nov 10, 2009 at 10:09 pm

  People want to see who you are before caring about what you know. Are you genuine, do you have integrity, are you trustworthy? Who you are as a person can connect you or break you with the people you are leading.

• 50 Jim Smith // Nov 10, 2009 at 10:44 pm

  John,
  I love your writings, but I think you blew it using Obama as an example in this chapter. Too many people are beginning to doubt that he lives what he communicates. I suppose using any current politician as an example can cause strong emotional reactions so using them can backfire. I believe you face that very danger in this of all chapters.

• 51 Johnny Benavides // Nov 10, 2009 at 10:48 pm

  Thank you John.

  In the section of taking care of your self I find it to be true PHD.Phill Macgraw in “Self Matter”. is a great starting point I’am finding out,your right in saying that to love your neibhour you have to love your self and know your self weaknesses and strenghts and not be affraid to admit your weaknesses,I know I’am but until now i didnt realize that it had a binding effect.
  one Question?.

  What steps did you take to inventory your strenghts and weaknesses.

  How exactley did you handel the negitive
  toughts,as to making them positive?

  THANK You
  Johnny

• 52 Leonor // Nov 10, 2009 at 11:14 pm

  Dear John,

  Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to help you become better. I enjoyed reading and learning from this chapter. You are credible and trustworthy and truly live by example! Your servant leadership attitude motivates us to become better individuals!

  The only technicality I noticed was under Tell the Truth section:
  ……”After the examination, the doctor asked to man to go out to the waiting room so that he could have a word with the woman.” Shouldn’t that be the following: “After the examination, the doctor asked the man to go out to the waiting room so that he could have a word with the woman.”

  Overall, this was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that touched me dearly and changed my way of thinking! Reading through all your chapters helped me learn a ton and my only suggestion now is that you print this in Spanish too! Your Spanish audience would love it just as much as I did! This will be your next best seller!

  To More Success!!!! Thank you!

• 53 Ronnie // Nov 11, 2009 at 12:54 am

  Thank you, John! I wll get the book and also recommend others too! It is good to use for reference, over and over again!

• 54 Ardy Roberto // Nov 11, 2009 at 3:50 am

  About “Righting Your Wrongs”

  I remember the Maxwell Leadership Summit we hosted in 2004 with you. It was a commercial and marketing success–over 14,000 people at the Araneta Coliseum (where the Thrilla in Manila was held) and 4,500 the next day at the Philippine International Convention Center (PICC). But we failed to deliver in terms of technical excellence (the mics failed on John and the speakers were not loud enough to reach people at the bleachers) and in customer service and registration as our secretariat system broke down at the convention center. Managers who were lining up for more than an hour were cussing and shouting at my people. I had to take a bull horn and had no choice to apologize to people for the chaos. I told them to just go inside the convention center and ushers would deliver their materials. My welcome address later, which was supposed to be a celebratory welcome for breaking all attendance records for a leadership learning event, became a meek apology to all who were affected. As the team leader and conference chair, I could not blame anyone else but myself. “You are allowed to crucify me…” I said to the audience trying to inject some tongue in cheek humor to lighten the moment. But I was sincere in my apology and later on wrote personal letters and emails to sponsors, groups and individuals who we knew were affected and complained. I offered refunds to them and on top of that a donation of an equal amount to the charity of their choice–plus free John Maxwell books equal to their ticket delivered to them. (I also offered to deliver it personally if they would have coffee with me.) The result of this effort to connect by admitting our faults and reaching out to repair our relationships was a second chance from our customers and renewed trust.

  Thanks for allowing us to share this!
  God bless,
  Ardy Roberto
  Co Founder – Salt & Light Ventures, Inc and Inspire Leadership Consultancy, Inc. – Philippines

• 55 James M. Leath II // Nov 11, 2009 at 10:09 am

  Nice. One thing I would like to add is to the notion of the Golden rule. I know you are familiar with the “Platinum Rule” Ziglar advocates. I wonder, what is your opinion on that? The former says to use the golden rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated. The latter preaches the platinum rule: Treat others as they would like to be treated. I tend to see the world as black and white with gray in the middle. I think these rules fall into the gray category. It is important to treat others with the respect you would want, but it is also important to remember that we tell people how to treat us by the clothes we wear, the things we say, and the people we hang out with. I am a high school teacher, so my perspective is that of someone who spends a lot of time with teenagers. I tell my students I will treat them how they would like to be treated and then teach them how to treat someone with respect. (Often times, adults complain kids these days are being disrespectful. Not true. To be disrespectful, one must first know what it is to be respectful. Ask any child what it means to be respectful and I believe you will be surprised!) That is why the platinum rule has served me better.

• 56 Sun Yi Scott // Nov 11, 2009 at 5:25 pm

  Hello John, my name is Sun Yi (Sunny) and I am your friend.

  It has been said many times before that communication is the key to success. Today, we are surrounded by technology which is designed to keep us more connected than ever before. We have cell phones, laptops, blackberries, wireless internet, twitter, all designed to ensure that we are able to better communicate. While these are all great devices, which most of us would not want to live without, the ability to connect to another person and ensure success, these devices can be unknowingly dangerous and damaging.

  I sincerely believe that developing our relationships ensure that we not only communicate but that we connect for success. The advent of this technology often causes us to miss what is happening in our life at that moment, weather it is the opportunity to communicate and share our life with another or missing something a child is trying to share with us. Turn the technology off! A successful relationship depends on each person being fully engaged in the process of the relationship which means becoming unconnected to become more connected. When we become distracted by the technology in our world and do not become fully engaged with each other then our relationships are being built on a faulty foundation, which is subject to long term damage.

  Bottomline – Stay connected by disconnecting and watch how much richer our relationships can become!

• 57 Dave Pond // Nov 11, 2009 at 6:01 pm

  John,
  Thank you for an excellent opportunity in sharing our stories from around the world. Most of all, thank you for what you do and the impact you have on us all.

  I absolutely enjoyed the story about the monkeys in the tree looking up to the not so pleasant sight. It made me think of leadership and how the Law of Connection could play in a tree full of monkeys that we all see and live with every day.

  One type of a monkey leader is one that is able to develop relationships and connect with everyone. Even when he moves away from his “tree”, he is greatly missed but still has that connection with his team. All he has to do is make one monkey call and those from his past will drop what they are doing to help him out. He always extends his hand to pull the other monkeys up from the other branches so that they can have a better view.

  On the other hand, there’s the “monkey boss” and he isn’t as good at connecting. In fact, some try to coach him to connect with his team but he doesn’t listen. In fact, he doesn’t understand that “they don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.” He is a very self centered monkey and never takes the time to connect, even though he monkey chatters all day long. (communicates)

  To summarize, the first monkey utilizes connection to help others grow. As for the second monkey, his time will be short lived. His team of monkeys will quickly grow tired of the terrible view from below, rebel and have him “dethroned.”

  I guess the moral of this story is; if your team keeps seeing that side of your leadership, you will soon not be seen at all, even if it is a team of monkeys.
  John, it has been a great pleasure and I look forward to seeing you again soon.
  Make it Great!

• 58 tochi // Nov 11, 2009 at 9:37 pm

  Great job, John. I agree with some of the comments above: this chapter probably needs to end more with a memorable bang. (Don’t ask me how… on second thoughts, maybe like this:) How about ending with a personal story from you illustrating this very thing? Also, how about with the generations after us – how do you predict they will define and accept leadership in the 2000s? With the internet, telecommuting, videoconferencing and the like, how will the impact of leadership and communication be impacted? Just something to ponder, going forward. Again, bravo!

• 59 david seow // Nov 12, 2009 at 6:44 am

  Hi John

  Connect with honesty: President Washington

  As mentioned by some comment, I agreed that we should not quote politician if possible.

  Many present politicans, had used his power for name and popularity.
  If we want to quote, we should quote those politcians who had passed away and was praised by many famous historians and people.

  I could recall the story of Washington, and that his father had connected him with honesty, and honesty is the best policy.

• 60 david seow // Nov 12, 2009 at 6:49 am

  Hi John,

  Why first 6 months? Is there any statistic to back up? Even though, is the statistic done in the fair manner?

  I think we should not use 6 months, rather than say initially for the first 6 months, and later for the subsequent period.

• 61 david seow // Nov 12, 2009 at 7:21 am

  Hi John,

  When I first start reading your title, I was a bit confused.

  If I am not wrong, this chapter is telling more on the characters of a good connector, i.e. honesty, admit mistake, tell the truth, be vulnerable, connect yourself…

  I would like to put simple title as:

  Connector live with great characters,
  Connector live what they communicate

  ABC of a good connector:
  A- Appreance
  B- Behaviour
  C- Conduct/Characters

• 62 Earl Waud // Nov 12, 2009 at 2:08 pm

  Hi John,

  Thank you for this beautiful and effective experiment in communication and connection. I’ve enjoyed every chapter and look forward to reading the published version as soon as it is available. I’ve already recommended it extensively to my friends and colleagues.

  In this chapter, the section about the transition between communication and credibility really resonated with me. I am in a networking business, and when a new person gets involved, it is their communication about the business that creates their early growth. But, as you suggest, there is a point where their credibility or their success in growing their team, seems to outweigh their communication. If they’ve had success, built their credibility, then continued success is easier. If however they’ve had little success, it is very difficult for them to communicate their way to the level of success desired.

  I am hopeful that the ideas presented in this book will help me to help bridge the gap between communication and credibility.

  Again, thank you!
  -Earl

• 63 Joe St.Germain // Nov 12, 2009 at 5:36 pm

  John, my only regret is that I wished I had gotten in on this sooner. Hope it’s not too late to hop in at the last chapter.

  I’d like to comment on the section of righting your wrongs. An acronym that I have been living these past few years has been Repent (ie. acknowledge your mistakes), Repair (ie. apologize) and Rebuild (ie. make ammends). I think it is important for the reader to understand here that the process of rebuilding may not always be possible. It requires both parties and someone may have the ability to accept an apology and repair on a short term, but rebuilding can be a great challenge. It is for that reason that your next point on accountability is crucial. In the process of righting your wrongs, I think some practical advice is to make known your accountability person to the party that you are working to make ammends. Give them access to that person if possible and allow them to check on you. Opening it up to that level an putting oneself out there in such a manner can go along way in the final piece of the acronym…Restoration.

  On a separate note, thanks for your work over the years. You are very much my mentor.
  Joe

• 64 Franisz Ginting // Nov 12, 2009 at 9:00 pm

  PLEASE READ THIS:

  Dear Dr. John,

  I believe you have written something about voice. A drummer has a voice, a writer has a voice, even a book has a voice. So, too, a connector has a voice.

  One day, someone asked John Sung, “Who are you?” and John Sung said, “I’m just a voice.”

  Each communicators or connectors have a different voice―style, character, etc. Hence, they should not trying to be like someone else, although they can be inspired by or love other communicators’ style and message.

  So, Dr. John, would you write also something about voice for a communicator or connector in this book?

  On connectors live what they communicate, there’s a quote from Dr. Edwin Louis Cole, which perhaps you already knew. (I tried to interpret it from Indonesian language) He wrote, “A man is more than a message. You buy into his message because first you buy into him.”

  Thank you, Dr. John C. Maxwell, for spreading your message and voice for us.

  Greetings from Jakarta, Indonesia!

• 65 Michael Harrison // Nov 13, 2009 at 12:08 am

  Good stuff and great conclusion. Making connections with others is NOT an option. God created us to live in and to thrive in community. That means we will find more and more success the more we partner together, encourage one another and seek to build others up. As you said, start connecting today!

• 66 Brandon Best // Nov 13, 2009 at 12:57 am

  Words like credibility, authenticity, and trust seem to be the foundation for next generation leaders. More and more parents break trust when they break vows. Religious leaders lose credibility due to moral or ethical failure. Political leaders seem to be far from the authentic American Voters they represent. Credibility could be the only revenue when it comes to leadership with the next generation. The leader that leads by example, builds trust, and wins credibility will find the highest influence. High demand for credibility in an individual means a great return on leadership that focuses on the area of trust and authenticity.

• 67 Lew // Nov 13, 2009 at 1:45 am

  Hi, John.

  I’m an avid follower of your books especially because your teaching are aligned to my belief. I was even amazed to see that a book entitled The Maxwell Leadership Bible and was surprised that it was actually the bible.

  I have not finished reading all the chapters since work kept me busy the past few weeks but I would like to share the same experience that you mentioned when you spoke in Russia and you had your daughter perform a russian song. I was assigned on a 6-months assignment as project liaison to our client site in Frankfurt, Germany last June, 2008. During one of the “All hands” meeting, this where all members of the cluster meet to kick-off software release, each one introduced themselves in deutsche, when it was my turn I introduced myself in their language and they applauded. I am Filipino from the Philippines by the way so they were expecting me to speak in english. I was able to do that by asking a Filipino friend who grew in Germany to teach me how to introduce myself in deutsche. With that, I believe I made a good impression that my 6 months assignment became 1 year which has never happened before in the project. My extension came from the manager in Germany. I give glory to God for that.

• 68 Sharon Tindell // Nov 13, 2009 at 4:15 am

  Having just discovered this opportunity in the last 2 weeks, I am not sure what has been discussed beforehand. As I read, a thought I see expressed various ways is the ability of the communicator to embrace his own humanity lends credibility as a communicator. While this does not need to be carried to the extreme, the success in connecting with people depends on it.

  Moses, in this chapter, recognized what he perceived as possible short-comings. He was aware of his doubts.

  The figure foremost in my mind is Jesus. While He had no “short-comings” in the sense of sin, He chose to “empty Himself”, and be “made in the likeness of men” (Phil. 2). In my excitement over something, I have projected the image of being better than others. This is DEFINITELY not my desire or belief, but what issues rise! What pollution of the truth I desired to be communicated! There is a “dying” that must occur in order for the humility to be a carrier of the truth.

• 69 Dale Hart // Nov 13, 2009 at 7:41 am

  Credibility does not come without connection, and grows in proportion to your ability to deepen that connection.

  Connection can begin by “borrowing” on the credibility of others. “It’s not what you know but who you know” carries a lot of truth. But your credibility will ultimately depend on your own ability to live what you communicate.

• 70 michael // Nov 13, 2009 at 8:23 am

  Your chapter reminds me of a quote by the late Journalist, Edward R. Murrow who said this: “To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; credible we must be truthful.”

  It’s not the big things which cause leadership to fail, it’s a collection of small mishaps that add up.

  I can’t wait for this book to come out, and I need to read again other books you have done in the past.

• 71 John Colyer // Nov 13, 2009 at 10:24 am

  I loved reading this; I made a huge mistake as the Lead Pastor of our church. We were in a building program and the team leading this were planning on taking out a mortgage. One Sunday out of the blue, it wasn’t the Lord telling me, as I realized later; I made the statement during a message that we needed to pay cash for the building -no mortgage. I had not spoken with the elders about this, I just felt led at the time. Needless to say most everyone loved this, but as we neared completion of our 1.6 million dollar addition, we were 600,000 short in order to complete.

  This statement came back to haunt me as I realized that I was wrong – As an elder board and me personnally, 6 months later, I admitted in front of our membership that I was wrong, I wasn’t spirit led, as as an elder team we asked forgiveness. Well, the body forgave us but we still had some drastic consequences of losing some families over this – This has been a rebuilding year for me and our board on building that credibility back – This chapter really hit the spot for me. Thanks and God Bless, may God use this book as He has the others you penned.

• 72 Joseph DeVenuto // Nov 13, 2009 at 10:32 am

  This is the first chapter I have had the opportunity to review; i’m under the impression the others were posted previously, and I am looking forward to the entire book.

  Your insights that being a good communicator is how you start the relationship, but credibility cements it, is dead on. All of us have had someone in our past who was eloquent, charismatic, with a good message, who subsequently couldn’t deliver.

  Also being a great communicator is not about great powerpoints, powerful speeches, insightful tweets, etc. It is about being genuine. I think people have insights into how geniune a person is earlier than 6 months. But the human need for hope, will often put a “bad” feeling on the back burner for some period of time. It is easy to get caught up in the “act” of a role, rather than just being you in the role.

  Thank you for this opportunity to comment.

• 73 Curtis // Nov 13, 2009 at 11:29 am

  Excellent concepts. I look forward to owning the final product.

  A few suggestions:

  - Change the misleading header “Do As I Say, Not As I Do” to match the other desirable trait headers, perhaps “Do As I Say, And As I Do.”

  - The ramped-up accountability factor brought about by social media is another significant influence. Anything less than forthrightness and honesty is quickly exposed and spread. But social media also provides a great vehicle for open, trustworthy communicators to have a global impact.

  - As I thought about words vs. actions, I realized that our words merely express intent, and fade in strength and trust without supporting action. But action can stand alone without words.

  - The Moses chapter brought to mind how, many years ago, my Psyc 101 professor started the year: After waiting in class 13 minutes with no sign of the professor, the lights suddenly went out and an overhead projector flipped on with these words appearing on the screen, “You have every right to be who you are, but you have no right to stay that way.” Without a word the lights came back on and class began. My professor never referenced those words, but they come to mind every time my weaknesses show and in those I lead.

  Also, thank you for writing “The Success Journey.” It helped me intentionally focus my career options when my long-standing career ladder disintegrated beneath me.

• 74 Kayode Ejodame. // Nov 13, 2009 at 1:40 pm

  After reading through I figured that this is one issue we usually have as protégés. A lot of leaders start off by exciting us with their depth of wisdom and we marvel and want to be just like them and then, somehow along the line they fall short of our expectations largely because we somewhat immortalized them neglecting they fact that they are not super humans. This trend often dampens the enthusiasm of protégés and as a result they begin to lower their standards too.

  I am really glad that you are doing this and I can feel the depth and insight that would be revealed in this piece and I cannot wait to lay my hands on it.

  Good work John, you are really walking your talk by taking you book for a public review even after so many best sellers. Hmmmm

• 75 Kayode Ejodame. // Nov 13, 2009 at 1:41 pm

  After reading through I figured that this is one issue we usually have as protégés. A lot of leaders start off by exciting us with their depth of wisdom and we marvel and want to be just like them and then, somehow along the line they fall short of our expectations largely because we somewhat immortalized them neglecting they fact that they are not super humans. This trend often dampens the enthusiasm of protégés and as a result they begin to lower their standards too.

  I am really glad that you are doing this and I can feel the depth and insight that would be revealed in this piece and I cannot wait to lay my hands on it.

  Good work John, you are really walking your talk by taking your book for a public review even after so many best sellers. Hmmmm

• 76 Elizabeth Cottrell // Nov 13, 2009 at 5:55 pm

  I’m only just discovering this project right at the end, but I am thrilled with the important contribution it will make to society. I have always maintained that these skills are learnable, and you are shining a spotlight on it.

  Forgive me if you have included this elsewhere in the chapters I did not see, but many readers would appreciate an appendix of some chapter that consists of a step-by-step plan to becoming a better Connector. These would be exercises or practices, perhaps in a time frame (e.g. Six Week Action Plan …).

  Best wishes, and I look forward to buying your book when it comes out.

• 77 Lisa Youngblood // Nov 14, 2009 at 6:33 am

  Enjoyed all the chapters. This one was tougher for me to read in one sitting. Maybe just my crazy life right now.

  Toward the end, I got a visual of a child’s wooden train set. The wooden ones with the big puzzle-like connectors to hold it together. I believe that our connections can be like that train set. Either in the railway or the train itself. If the rails are connected properly, the little train can derail. If the trains are connected properly, then part of the train can be left behind. I’ve had pastors who can fit those pieces together perfectly, and the train rides the rail well. I’ve had other pastors (in our moves around the country) who seem bent on disconnecting their congregations.

  Our community recently experienced a horrible tragedy when this happened in real-life. After a couple of days of hard rains, some people that lived near a set of railroad tracks noticed the gravel bed under one side of the tracks was eroded away. They made calls to 911 and other agencies, but it was too late. Later in the evening, as several cars were waiting at the crossing for the train to pass, witnesses noticed that the train seemed to start “hopping.” Immediately they were bouncing into the air, and two collided in mid-air causing a horrendous explosion. One woman waiting in a car at the train crossing died while trying to escape and several others were hurt terribly.

  Connection is vitally important. Without it an organization will have difficulty and might even “derail.” Be careful that there is nothing that can erode the connections.

• 78 septi suwandi Putra // Nov 14, 2009 at 10:43 am

  i love this chapter. my boss is a sample of a person with a good communication skill but bad credibility. ( & i always pray not to be like him, when I’m became a boss)

  my boss, had a good communication skill, love to speak, seem wise, well know motivation speaker. but lack of credibility. that why his staff didn’t respect him, only fear of him. one of the sample is in Jan 09, he said company benefit is low, global crisis, import cost is high, so this year, no year end bonus for employee. but open sesame, few month latter he showed up with a brand new Mercedes Benz S class that he brought with company money.
  can you give advise how and employee like me handling n dealing this kind of boss/leader?

  many thanks,
  regards

• 79 Sandra Kendell // Nov 14, 2009 at 11:09 am

  Well the last chapter of this awesome book has summed it well. In a world that leaders have forfeited their creditbility for selfish gain people have grown very skeptical. Young people especially have lost respect for leaders from various disciplines thus disengaging themselves from the stimulus of learning. When you have a leader who clearly is succesful in living that which they are communicating you have found yourself in a place that you can stand firm in knowing that you as the reciever have been divinely rooted. Connected to a source that will be a major attribute to your career, personal life, family life, and social life. It is a win, win situation all around the world.
  I once heard a preacher say “Good leadership is a blessing and bad leadership is a curse” and to this day I am finding his assement to be true. Connectors must first have a ultimate source from which to draw. In this limited economy of virtue and valor minded people when one has made a good connection successful living can be obtained.

• 80 Sandra Kendell // Nov 14, 2009 at 11:30 am

  Errors to be considered Mr. Maxwell:

  Under the following headers:

  CONNECT W/YOURSELF: 1st paragraph
  “and then we have to potential to connect w/them.

  (under same heading) 5th paragraph, 1st line.
  “If you’ve never taken the time to connect with yourself I hope you will starting now”

  RIGHT YOUR WRONGS
  1st paragraph
  “to be human is to err sounds abit better in my opinion”

  BE ACCOUNTABLE
  1st paragraph. Last sentence
  “they were known/ verses/ they were seen”

  TELL THE TRUTH
  1st paragraph/2nd sentence
  “asked to man to go out to the waiting …with the woman/verses/ asked the man to go into the waiting room with his wife”

  DO AS I SAY NOT AS I DO
  10th paragraph/line 4
  “and the end result will be positive? (not sure what that meant it looked out of place somehow)

  LEARNING TO BE A GREAT CONNECTOR
  Your transition into the character Moses as a example from the Bible was weak. What if some people have never read the Bible or even heard of Moses the Biblicial leader”?

  Who would lead/verses/who would settle

  As a result of his actions/verses/he had to go into hiding or something to that effect.

  Moreover starting sentences with the conjunction But is something new and ok I guess but overuse of this practice weakens the statements.

  Also, stick to one heading formation. Either centered or flushed left.

  Well there you have it my limited ability to edit hope it helps.

  Thankyou sir for such a great opportunity, you my good man are true stock…..

• 81 Mary West // Nov 14, 2009 at 6:44 pm

  John: In the last paragraph in the second sentence you have, “Whatever is in… It should read Whatever it is in… Thought Id let you know.
  Ps Looking forward to the book! This was a great read! Thank you.
  Mary West

• 82 Jim Chandler // Nov 14, 2009 at 10:20 pm

  Awesome chapter! The first time I attended one of your conferences (13 years ago), you taught about the importance of admitting your mistakes as a leader. Prior to that I thought admitting mistakes would undermine my credibility. Instead, be honest about those has been the thing that has enhanced my leadership the most. Thanks!

  One error I saw: In the first paragraph after the heading Connect With Yourself, it reads “And then we have to potential to connect with them.”

• 83 Melissa M. Frank // Nov 15, 2009 at 2:45 am

  Dear John,

  It was an honor to have the opportunity to have a sneak peak into your upcoming book, “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect.”
  It will and has already been a great blessing.

  The only suggestion that I have for the last chapter would be to perhaps start off a little stronger or reword the first sentence. The first section for the most part flows smoothly and then ties in nicely to “The Trust Test.”

  I’m looking forward to the finished masterpiece.

  If you want to tingle somebody’s ears, you say something interesting. If you want to impact somebody’s life, you say something with substance.

  This book, I believe will accomplish both tasks:)

  Thank you. God Bless!

• 84 Bethany Godwin // Nov 15, 2009 at 8:20 am

  Dr. Maxwell:

  Thank you for sharing this book. Each Monday morning it has been a highlight to start my day and week by anticipating and reading your latest chapter. It has ended too soon! There have been wonderful thoughts and insights I have received by reading each chapter. I am eagerly looking forward to this book’s release.

  This chapter was so interesting as I read about how that connectors connect with themselves before they connect with others. This reminded me of what a successful person told me as I was completing high school and approaching college. He suggested Shakespeare’s quote: “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.” That has echoed to me down through the years and been a wonderful aid personally and professionally. This is what I take away from this section of the chapter and am happy to be able to see that you live this by example as well as share it with us verbally.

  Thank you also for the many resources (books, MIC, seminars…) you provide. Your dedication and discipline to sharing your works reminds me of Henry Adams’ quote: “A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.” Also, Walter Lippmann said, “The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind in others the conviction and the will to carry on.” You have certainly left in us the conviction and will to carry on in our connections.

  This has been a pleasure and growth experience. Looking forward to your next book and future blogs in between.

  Sincerely,

  Bethany

  P. S. – Your latest MIC audio recording on the best advice you ever received is wonderful!

• 85 Fradel barber // Nov 15, 2009 at 8:54 am

  so much insight and truth in this chapter!
  My favorite part:
  When you make a commitment you create hope. When you keep a commitment, you create trust.
  And the Moses story

  great job!

• 86 Andy Perkins // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:15 am

  I have a small staff in Liberia, West Africa. I worked for several years as the man with all the answers. The in 2006 I had a spiritual breakthrough that included honesty about my own weaknesses and mistakes. I can feel and see the difference in the way these guys love and trust me. My rule is now, when I have something good to say I use one of them as the example. When I have a problem to talk about I use me as an example. It’s not just a tool, it’s an honest and uplifting way of life. You were part of that new spiritual and emotional awareness. Thank you.

• 87 Bridget Haymond // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:46 am

  Wow, I so appreciate these insights because they are powerful and life changing. Since my core value is truth I regularly coach myself with this question, “what is the truth here?” If there is ever any doubt, I stop and work through what my motives are, and why I’m doing what I’m doing in a particular situation. I love to learn and grow so that I can help others by sharing what I’m learning along the way.
  I love your comment about establishing credibility by living what you communicate. I think as parents this is crucial because the most important people we influence are our children and they will clearly see any hypocrisy in us. Sadly I think this is what has caused many kids who have grown up in church to leave church when they become adults. I couldn’t bear it if I felt that hypocrisy in me caused my kids to forsake a relationship with God or connecting with other Christians in the Body. Honest conversations with my kids about motives, positive influence, extending grace and honoring God are key in our home.
  I know many will be encourage and challenged by this great book!

• 88 Jenniffer Vielman // Nov 15, 2009 at 12:58 pm

  This chapter, like all the others is amazing. I thought it was very interesting that you say that you have 4 strengths and many weaknesses, but choose to focus on your strengths. The reason I found that interesting is because I always beat myself with the fact that I don’t have that many strengths but I’m overloaded with weaknesses. My biggest problem is that I get stuck in my weaknesses and don’t focus as much on the few strengths that I have identified.

  Also, the Section Tell the Truth A woman accompanied her very sick husband to the doctor’s office. After the examination, the doctor asked to man..” I believe you meant to say “the doctor asked the man”.

• 89 Malachi O'Brien // Nov 15, 2009 at 2:27 pm

  Chapter 10 is perhaps the most challenging of all the chapters in the book. In the section “You Are The Message” I am reminded of a poem to whom the author is unknown. It is titled “I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day”

  I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day;
  I’d rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way.
  The eye is a better pupil, more willing than the ear;
  Fine counsel is confusing, but example is always clear,
  And the best of all the preachers are the men who live their creeds,
  For to see a good put in action is what everybody needs.

  I can soon learn how to do it if you will let me see it done;
  I can watch your hand in action, but your tongue too fast may run.
  And the lectures you deliver may be very wise and true,
  But I’d rather get my lesson by observing what you do.
  For I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give,
  But there is no misunderstanding how you act and how you live.

  Chapter 10 attacks what may be the greatest enemy to connecting with people and that is PRIDE. Being vulnerable and willing to admit your mistakes is a true sign of humility.

  Maybe the greatest need in this hour of much noise is a focused intensity of connecting. This will mute the noise and make the message heard in deed and word.

• 90 Peter Nyagah // Nov 15, 2009 at 2:31 pm

  I have just completed reading Running with the Giants which led me to your website, i was thrilled by your simplicity in the book. Havent seen the other chapters but this chapter has caputered my attention so deeply. The book is a must read. i especially like the part on accepting your weaknesses which myself and other leaders fail to admit. Carry on with you great work.

• 91 Steve Edwards // Nov 15, 2009 at 2:42 pm

  I have not heard you much, but this read has made me not only listen and read more from you but on the whole issue of leadership. Thanks for the openness, transparency, vulnerability and encouragement.

• 92 Grant Higgins // Nov 15, 2009 at 2:45 pm

  I am in the United States Coast Guard. And I have seen the use of good connection with personal leadership.
  I have been in the enlisted side of the force for the last 5 and a half years, and in that time there have been just a few good leaders that have been in my chain-of-command. Two come to mind at this moment.
  LT Shane Morgan is the Logistical Officer at my unit, and the main thing that has impacted me from his leadership is that has always looked to produce credibility and is focused on the members that he has the potential to influence and shape their careers in a positive way.
  Comander Menchaca, is the XO at my unit. And the one thing that I see that he does follow the Golden Rule. The story that you related in your text about the monkeys in the tree really brought his others-wareness to mind.
  Thank-you for the opptournity to add into this book.
  Respectfully.
  Grant Higgins FS3 USCGR

• 93 Roger // Nov 15, 2009 at 3:08 pm

  True connectors have the courage to authentically share that they don’t always effectively live what they communicate. If anyone claims they live out completely what they communicate they are either the Lord or more likely a liar! Credibility is not perfection but a willingness to admit imperfection.

• 94 Dana Henson // Nov 15, 2009 at 3:29 pm

  You are as real as real can get and you are a communicator. Transparency is the key to connecting with people. Putting up walls and hiding behind them will only alienate people and make them feel that you do not understand. We need to care more about what God thinks about us and quit fretting over what man thinks of us. God looks at the heart of a person, society looks at the outer person. Also, stepping outside ourselves to help those in need is a great exercise in dying to self. I want to be able to Think, Be and Do Life with a heart that can reach others, help others and make a difference for all that God places in my path. God Bless You John Maxwell!!! (I am so glad that you wished you lived in Oklahoma!!)
  Your sister in Christ,
  Dana Henson

• 95 Melonie Curry // Nov 15, 2009 at 4:32 pm

  I really enjoyed the discussion of connecting with yourself and would have liked to seen a more in-depth discussion.

  I think if you are going use Moses as a model leader, the discourse is not complete without addressing the fact that he did not lead the people to the promise land. Many leaders have the charisma and commitment to draw people to them but that does not mean they will be effective in executing God’s will.

  Thank you once again for your service,
  Melonie

• 96 Lea Carey // Nov 15, 2009 at 4:46 pm

  Hey John,
  Actually, my husband is a great leader-he is wise, steadfast and humble. I’ve always known that Leadership is his gift from God and it is amazing, whatever situation, he has credibility, credibility, credibility and reflects the most fantastic characteristics of leadership. I can tell you this-for years he consistently said “I am the number 2 guy-and I love being the number 2 guy”….as you might guess, he is the number 1 guy….
  Be well,
  Lea

• 97 Catie Perschke // Nov 15, 2009 at 4:48 pm

  I greatly enjoyed the points brought out in this chapter. I would just mention that my overall impression was that you used more ‘facts’ and less stories that illustrate and bring your topic to life.
  I am very much looking forward to purchasing the published book and seeing how it has benefitted from this unique opportunity to read and comment.
  May the Lord bless and greatly enlarge this project.

• 98 Kimberly Tucker // Nov 15, 2009 at 5:21 pm

  John,

  This last chaper is amazing. The story of Moses definitely sums up the basis of the book. I’m looking forward to the finished product.

  Blessings,
  Kim

• 99 Grace Bower // Nov 15, 2009 at 5:21 pm

  What a journey! Here is the last response until we get to see the finished product – (unless you want to have a final response from you to us and us to you!)
  I agree with 23/58 that the ending could be stronger and the call to action this book requires. I think the quotes from 73 84 89 would be the answer although 89 could be a beginning poem on the frontispiece as a guide to the essence of the book as well.
  Love the idea of Moses to finish as most are familiar wiht the Moses/Joshua stories and this brings up the position of Moses with Jethro advising/mentoring and Joshua who he mentors and guides into even greater leadership
  I love the comments about Moses (6/7/8) but particularly 11 sums it up.
  Quotes I loved – 24 – 27 – 34 -70 – 73 – 84 – 89
  Personal examples that could be used – 9 -trust – 15 – powerful 17 – 29 – 44 – 48 – 54 – 55
  Great word pictures to incorporate –
  Mental Armour (25)
  Cultural translations – applies to New Zealand here too
  Passing the mantle (16) at the beginning of the chapter?
  Headwind – help or hinder (31)
  Monkey tree – great expansion by 57
  Also – use 9/13/17/29 to amplify points

  Just make sure there is a call to action at the conclusion of the book – Everyone has a right to be who they are but no right to stay that way (73)or the To your own self be true (84) or the poem in 89. Blessings to you and yours and the book.

• 100 Barb Giglio // Nov 15, 2009 at 5:25 pm

  I love this chapter! The “golden rule” says so much and can accomplish so much when we follow it. I’m glad you wrote about admitting when you’re wrong and apologizing. I still wonder about people who never say they’re sorry. Yes we can forgive, but it comes full circle when you hear “I’m sorry”. As I think about the people I connect best with, those with “common courtesy” are the ones that come to mind and are most enjoyable to work and associate with. This book has already been an influence in my life as I take a look at myself and how I can better communicate with others. It’s been such a pleasure to participate in this book. I’ve enjoyed it so much I wish you would write a few more chapters!! I can’t wait for this book to be published. God bless you always and thank you for being such a positive influence!
  Barb Giglio

• 101 Jake Sledge // Nov 15, 2009 at 5:54 pm

  Great conclusion to the book! I came across a quote from Aristotle once that has stuck with me. He said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” The character needed as our foundation for our communication isn’t built by a few acts, but over time by our habits. Our lives consist of the abundance of our habits. When that develops character in us, we have a message to communicate that others will listen to and be blessed by. This then, is how we become our message.

  Thanks! God bless.

• 102 Candace Sargent // Nov 15, 2009 at 7:13 pm

  John, I can’t believe it’s the final chapter; it’s been a privilege to read this initial draft of your new book and comment.

  Some additional items related to Connect With Yourself, Vulnerability, Credibility:

  I remember a recent Oprah when Maria Shriver, California’s First Lady, talked about really doing an introspective assessment very late in life. I think she did so only a couple of years ago; it was definitely after becoming First Lady. Her story stirred up such strong feelings in me, not because it was my personal story too, it wasn’t; it was her delivery with such vulnerability that it imprinted on my mind and my heart went out to her. Her realness brought with it such credibility.

  I remember sadly thinking, “If only people would do that assessment much earlier—I wish it was heavily focused on throughout high school—can you imagine a generation much healthier, more in touch, aware, more self-confident? Talk about being prepared for life? If only it were so, how different Maria Shriver’s life may have been?”

  She went on to say, “I don’t want you to think ‘What does she have to complain about? She’s First Lady for heaven’s sake?’ Like you’re not poor, you’re First Lady so you don’t really have problems.” Like she isn’t allowed to have problems. If every time we had a problem, we pushed it down or ignored it because at least we aren’t starving in Ethiopia, we would be in trouble. We need to maintain a balanced perspective, regardless.

  Jesus was a good example. After a psych evaluation was done, Jesus was found to be very balanced in all areas. Can you imagine if Jesus were unbalanced? The negative impact it would have had on His credibility? Would anyone have listened to Him? He led by example, His Father’s.

  Results of psychological profile on Jesus, excerpted from “The Case for Christ” by Lee Strobel:

  1. He never demonstrated inappropriate emotions—he was an emotionally healthy individual.

  2. When he was angry, it was a righteous reaction against injustice and blatant mistreatment of people.

  3. He was rational and obviously in contact with reality—he wasn’t paranoid or delusional, nor did he suffer from dementia.

  4. He spoke clearly, powerfully, eloquently and brilliantly.

  5. He had absolutely amazing insights into human nature.

  6. Socially, he had deep and abiding relationships with a wide variety of people from different walks of life.

  7. He cared deeply about people and was able to respond to them based on where they were at and what they uniquely needed.

  8. He maintained balance in a demanding and stressful lifestyle.

  Under Connect With Yourself, you might provide a Framework. Frankly, an introspective process is tough for people; it can be a bit overwhelming, like they aren’t sure where to start, and once they’ve started, have they covered all the bases? A Framework is helpful and easier for people to expand upon rather than starting from scratch. I’ve included mine as merely an example:

  PERSONAL FRAMEWORK

  “You’re not trying to be someone else; you’re not discarding your personality for another’s; you’re simply peeling back & discarding layers of acquired bad habits in favor of adopting new ones that showcase your unique personality.”

  Disclaimer: Intentionally limit your time spent on this introspective process or you risk becoming self-centered.

  Balance 80% “just do it!”, 20% “ice cream” (not perfection!! ..mistake? >>stop >>reset >>ask forgiveness=clean slate >>don’t freefall =very least amount of baggage!):

  1.0 Spiritual – talk to God like other relationships you have..when you’re sitting down, walking, driving, showering….pray for friends and family, for their salvation, protection, problems, strength. Don’t ever let guilt separate you from God—he already knows and he can help even if it’s on-going sin you’re having trouble stopping or find yourself wanting to continue..just ask for his strength to turn it around to an even better and more exciting outcome for you. “Lord, I pray these things for myself and for my family and friends: our father who art in heaven (the Lord’s prayer) ..renew my heart and spirit Lord..fill me with the Holy Spirit..give me wisdom to be the best you designed me to be, full of all the opportunities and adventure and laughter and love that you have in store for me.” He created our most intense amazzzzing attributes so why not want the most of these for u!:)

  2.0 Inside(Core Attributes)

  2.1 respect (must be earned—can’t be demanded—everyone wants it—you need to act on the rest of core to earn it and keep it)

  2.2 friendly & open, soak up & seek out strong-moments that fuel a healthy vibrant life, character & integrity, responsibility & wisdom, loving & giving, adopt philosophy that 97% isn’t personal & 3% pick your battles…

  2.3 take inventory (“view from the cheap seats” an objective view of self: list all strengths and weaknesses. *note: a strength is something you look forward to, that energizes & satisfies; it’s not something you perform well but leaves you blah. keep strengths with you to review & add to often, and learn new skills & create plan w/mini-steps to either eliminate or compensate for weaknesses)

  2.4 learn/acquire skills (no endless seminars w/o action & application)

  2.5 program your brain (visualization, positive internal dialog, stop mulling over negative, what you focus on expands…)

  2.6 decide your course (form a plan and follow it—don’t react and follow everyone else’s through pressure and guilt [you will be challenged by this throughout your life], but instead simply evaluate their input and see if it improves your course—if so, apply else discard)

  2.7 dream plan (dream big because after all every star or Olympian was once a snot-nosed kid who didn’t know anything; someone has to be those stars in life so why not you? BUT then set a plan towards that dream, one with goals and action steps or you’ll never get there and it will always just be an allusive pipe dream)

  2.8 develop style (inside..personality)

  2.9 be yourself (only after having done the core work or it’s like going to the Olympics completely untrained and unprepared thinking that it’s going to magically be a positive experience where you’ll win:/)

  2.10 self-confidence (it’s a choice so choose to be confident because you’ve been objective and done the core work; surround yourself with positive supportive people to reinforce)

  3.0 Outside(Physical)

  3.1 80% “healthy”/20% “ice cream” diet with supplements

  3.2 minimum core workout and everything else is gravy

  3.3 develop style (outside)

  4.0 Develop Habits/Routines That Produce Most Value For Least Time Spent

  5.0 Auto-pilot (don’t get into the habit of making exceptions)

  6.0 Stay Plugged In, Interesting & Funny (news, trends, wit, humor, stories)

  7.0 Connecting (read everything, visualize heavily, practice w/mirror to adjust body language, practice w/strangers in restaurants & stores, refine but stay vulnerable & authentic)

  8.0 Relationships

  8.1 Friend Attributes List (identify “deal breakers”)

  8.2 More-Than-Friend Attributes List (identify “deal breakers”)

  8.3 21-day “slow warmup” (20% “allusive friendly connect” 80% “listen/observe”—let them discover who you are—the moment a deal-breaker occurs, phase out slowly to save face=least rejection factor—if More-Than-Friend, The Rules apply and the moment you know there’s no chemistry, slowly steer towards Friend if you can.

  8.4 Post 21-day, assess % and type of activities that best suit both of you=win/win scenarios

  8.5 bird on your hand which stays 100% flat, no curling fingers up until choking bird..if you curl up even once, than bird is nervous that it could happen again so never truly relaxes and freely connects; the bird has to want to remain there.

  Again, it’s been a privilege, John.

  Candace

• 103 ROY GIBSON // Nov 15, 2009 at 7:17 pm

  I have enjoyed following the writing of this book so much. I have learned so much that will help me in my leadership copacity. And in my everyday life. I took notes that I will cherish for a long time to come. I was inspired to purchase other books and read them that you have written and even read some of the refrenced authors. I am happy that I came upon you as an author, motivator, teacher, preacher, life changer showing me that one of the greatest tools in my leadership is integrity. Because without it I have nothing. Again thank you for your part in changing my life as a leader and person.

• 104 Madhan // Nov 15, 2009 at 7:34 pm

  I loved reading all of your chapters of your upcoming new book ‘Everyone Communicates, Few Connect’. I am sure it will be another best seller book on leadership. Thank you John for impacting so many people all around the world in your great ways.

  Usually I read your chapters to learn and do not leave any comments, however after reading the part ‘You are you message’ I thought Mahatma Gandhi’s statement ‘My life is my message’ aptly fits into this.

  Thanks and God bless all
  Madhan

• 105 Laurinda // Nov 15, 2009 at 7:50 pm

  John:
  I really appreciated the opportunity to be involved with one of your projects. Truly it has been an honor.

  The communication/credibility portion of this chapter really stuck with me. I agree! I see a well spoken political candidate win over his/her constituents only to be lost over time because of credibility. It made me think of Paul and how he said he comes with demonstration/power and not fancy speech. Smooth talkers can only go so far.

  I also thought about Princess Diana. When she died, I felt as if I lost someone. I didn’t KNOW her! But I felt as if I did. She lived a transparent life and we all connected with her. She lived a very vulnerable life. Not typical of the English Monarchy.

  Thanks again for the opportunity!

• 106 Chew Keng Sheng // Nov 15, 2009 at 8:47 pm

  Thanks again for the chapter!

  Indeed action speaks louder than words.

  I do however, find that the concluding account of Moses seems to be a little bit abrupt and anticlimax. I wish that account of Moses could be elaborated a bit more – yes, Moses had many weaknesses, but it is also important to highlight more on how God used Moses despite of his weaknesses. It seems that the good ending of Moses was not dealt with enough details.

• 107 Curtis howe // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:09 pm

  John, you have done your best work yet! This book is so needed in this day and age of so many ways to communicate yet we don’t really connect. This has already changed my life and sales. What a truly inspired book. Thank you for writing this book. I have already recommended it to many friends and will be buying several copies to give away. Thanks.

• 108 Twitted by johncmaxwell // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:12 pm

  [...] This post was Twitted by johncmaxwell [...]

• 109 Carla Conrad // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:15 pm

  Great conclusion to a book I am so looking forward to reading again. This journey helped define and refine what connection is, how I can apply it for my personal growth and how be a catalyst to pass it along to others.

  This jumped off the screen: “When you make a commitment you create hope. When you keep a commitment, you create trust.” This statement hit on so many levels, both personally (how are my key relationships, am I making those trust-earning connections with my clients) and on the political stage. (history will tell that story)

  It has been a honor to read this preview. It has kept me engaged with making those connections in my path authentic. So look forward to the book. Thank you!

• 110 Jocelyn E. Frasier // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:17 pm

  John,

  Wonderful! The chapter gives great motivation for literally practicing what you preach and showing the “leadership currency” that you can earn if ever you need to cash in! I laughed out loud at the joke about the husband and wife at the doctor’s office, and my husband did too (of course, not as much as I did). This excerpt to me gives just basic lessons on humility and Christlikeness, but not in religious terms. My favorite quotes…”our lives improve only when we take chances….deliver results before you deliver a message…. and…you earn leadership currency every time you make good decisions”.

  I think instead of Do As I Say Not As I Do, you should just say “Do As I Do” as a header for that section. For someone glancing through who wants to quickly get the principles, the other subtitles seem more of a positive “to do list” if you will, of what to do to be a good leader. Doing as I say and not as I do is NOT what you want to do. Perhaps putting it in a positive light would be more effective…perhaps.

• 111 Joanna Holman // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:19 pm

  I’m not so sure that the Obama illustration is such a good one. It might work a few months from now but this book could still be around 20 years from now. By then the illustration will make the book sound unnecessarily dated and people will have forgotten a lot of the excitement surrounding obama

• 112 Mikhaila David // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:23 pm

  Hi John! I have a story on being confident with yourself as a leader and how sometimes the people under without knowing help you with that…

  As I was in the middle of planning Ammunition Conference(the youth conference our youth ministry puts on yearly) i started to buckle under my own pressure, being a 20 yr. girl with not the most experience. I confided in one of my best friends James, who was also my technical director about how i felt it was all going to fall apart. He looked at me sincerely and said, “Mikhaila, that is nonsense, knowing that you are incharge of this event i feel so secure that you will take care of us(my team) and this conference.” In that moment my entire outlook on my job and myself as a leader had changed. I was confident in my leadership ability and even more in my character, that God would use me for his glory to change lives!

• 113 tami rush // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:31 pm

  thank you…

• 114 Lindsay Fawcett // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:31 pm

  Thank you so much for the wonderful words of wisdom.
  As I read this chapter two people stood out to me, my previous principal and ESL Coordinator. Three years ago I was blessed to get a job right out of college in the town that I lived in, in Minneapolis. I’ve heard that the first job you take as a teacher influences the rest of your career. Sometimes it is overwhelming and no one is willing to help you get on your feet (as with my friend who no longer teaches) and sometimes the administration lifts you up and encourages you to reach your potential. I experienced the latter. I felt that my principal and ESL coordinator encouraged me to lead and try new things and they trusted my judgement. I was a brand new teacher and the only one at my school! I felt so loved and appreciated that all I wanted to do was to prove them right. This last year I left Roseville to pursue a job as a teacher missionary in Japan, but I did not leave without recognizing that I was leaving some of the best bosses that I will ever have had. They know how to connect with their staff and this made working for them feel like I was with family. I also want to say that for my first year (as I was there for two years), I also traveled to another school and the principal did not hold this same kind of leadership style and it made me appreciate it even more.
  Thanks again!

• 115 Paul Kandavalli // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:32 pm

  Hi John
  “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect” is a great title and I feel that this book is long due and will make a difference in many people’s lives. I am sure it will be a best seller. In my job in the field of Information Technology I interact with a lot of people across various lines of business on a daily basis and I noticed that practically connecting and partnering with them is very important and is mutually beneficial in achieving the goals for the organization. Many times I have to step into their shoes to understand things from their perspective and your book nailed it. It is very similar in my personal life as well as I interact with different people that I come across in life.
  As I was previewing the book “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect” I have noticed that the various points you touched in different chapters in this book are very practical and you did a wonderful job in putting all the information together. You have been a blessing to my life personally though your books and in turn I am passing the blessings I received to others. I am sure that this is the case with other readers as well. This book will definitely impact a lot of people and will be a best seller. I pray that the Lord will bless you abundantly in the years to come. Keep up the good work.

  Thanks and God Bless.

• 116 Brett Rachel // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:36 pm

  *Connect with Yourself*
  Would it be wrong to suggest personality assessments to assist readers become aware of their strengths and blindspots?

  *Right your Wrongs*
  Consider changing: “To be human is to mess up. The question is will you fess up?” to “To be human is to mess up; to connect, you must fess up.”

  *Conclusion*
  He was not a good leader.
  Consider changing first sentence: Even after Moses successfully led the children of Israel out of Egypt, his leadership influence wained. The people were continually…

  Thanks for listening!

• 117 Shelley Quinones // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:44 pm

  John,
  Thanks for modeling what you have written in this chapter. People crave authenticity and vulnerability. Yet, have no idea how to connect with themselves or others authentically.
  You are very good at showing how to reveal to yourself the truth about yourself. Truth can be painful to look at, but it is much more worth the view than hiding and finding relationship defecits later.

  We were created to connect. This is an important part of our humanness. It can be learned. Connecting is valuable and allows everyone to feel special and needed. We all have a purpose and can excel at that purpose when surrounded with people we can trust to be truthful and supportive.
  When faced with the ugliness of the truth we can then make changes. Without awareness, there is no hope for change and growth.

• 118 Ray McKay Hardee // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:45 pm

  Under the Apologize section, I would add the following quote by Thomas Jefferson:

  “If you have to eat crow, eat it while it’s young and tender.”

• 119 Janet George // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:48 pm

  Great summary chapter of the previous chapters we’ve been reading.

  As for Obama and his “apology”….long before he was elected, I had determined that he was an A-1 con-artist. I do not believe his apology was sincere even one little bit. He was just saying what he had to say to make you think what he wanted you to think. He could sell a used car to a new car salesman.

  Thanks for letting us read and be a part of your new book.

• 120 Kurt Billups // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:51 pm

  John,

  I enjoyed every chapter. Thank you for allowing me to participate.

  Sincerely,
  Kurt Billups

• 121 Scott Melson // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:54 pm

  Typo in second paragraph, first sentence… its, is missing the apostrophe. In the first six months of a relationship—whether its personal or professional, one-to-one or leader to follower—we focus on a person’s communication ability to make judgments about them.

  I can’t wait for the new book. Thank you John Maxwell. Scott

• 122 Keri Jaehnig // Nov 15, 2009 at 9:58 pm

  Thank you for the opportunity to connect with you in this way! Right into the chapter…

  Connect With Yourself – Last sentence, first paragraph reads: “And then we have to potential to connect with them.” Correct phrasing should be: And then we have the potential to connect with them.

  Right Your Wrongs
  Failure to admit mistakes
  causes
  the message to be questioned
  which causes
  the integrity of the leader to be questioned!

  The words are good, but presentation needs work. The mind craves special characters to lead to the next lines, perhaps.

  In this same section, Make Amends – this message is good, and I feel you gain credibility and connection with the audience by letting them know you made the offer to the host to come back the following year at your own expense.

  In general – A lot of name dropping. Some is okay – especially to relate an audience to a point. But there are many names in this chapter. Suggestion: After reading this comment, re-explore the text to see if you are satisfied. It IS John Maxwell’s book.

  The Conclusion began very well. In fact, I feel this Chapter is one for my small town currently working through a lot of transition (Wilmington, Ohio).

  Thanks again for letting me participate!

• 123 Elizabeth Ann Yoder // Nov 15, 2009 at 10:00 pm

  THANK YOU again for the opportunity to participate in this process! I have really enjoyed reading the last two chapters–and just wish that I had been able to read the rest of the book first, so I could put your final thoughts into better perspective with the work as a whole!

  I really appreciated the emphasis on “Living What You Communicate!” Too often we see a big disparity between what people say and what they do! I also appreciated the sections on vulnerability, practicing the Golden Rule, and delivering results!

  Here are a few thoughts as I read and reflected on this chapter and the conclusion:

  1. Was Moses really lacking in communication skills–or was that just one of several excuses he mentioned because he really didn’t want to lead the Israelites? (His next words after saying he is “slow of speech and tongue” are “Oh, Lord, please send someone else to do it (Exodus 4:10, 13)!” Moses, having grown up in the king’s family, would have been given the best possible education in Egypt–unlike his Israelite peers slaving to complete various Egyptian building projects. Educationally, he would have been FAR more qualified than any of the people he was being asked to lead, and with far more communication experience in a wide variety of situations.

  2. The illustration dealing with President Obama’s effectiveness (and especially the sentence “As I write this, he has been in office for less than six months”) seems to unnecessarily date the book. Perhaps consider changing the illustration or re-writing the passage to make it more timeless.

  3. The paragraph on steroid use in baseball didn’t seem to fit well, perhaps because while you mention that “the game has been irreparably damaged,” you never directly state that the players’ credibility and accomplishments have also been forever diminished.

  4. In the first paragraph under “Be Accountable,” which refers to various U.S. Presidents, the sentence “If you’ve read about them, you know they were all very different” seems a little condescending to the average reader, given how famous each of the men are.

  5. In the second paragraph under “Connect with Yourself,” there are two unnecessary shifts in pronoun use (going from the first person “we,” to the second person “you,” and then back to “we” once again). The paragraph flow more smoothly if re-written with consistency in pronouns.

  6. The illustration about the Sewell auto dealerships would be more powerful if condensed. Not that the facts aren’t important, but so many details are given about the history of the dealership (which are not necessarily required for the illustration to be understood) that the main impact of the story is diminished.

  7. One or more recent examples should be given in support of the sentence “History is filled with examples of leaders who made an impact by being in front and saying, in essence, ‘Follow me.’ The three illustrations which are used are all over 100 years old.

  8. The final paragraph of the conclusion could be stronger. Perhaps consider including a quotation or brief illustration to make the ending even more memorable.

  Overall, the final chapter is well done and powerful!

  I so appreciate the opportunity to read your work, learn from your example, and continue to grow as a person and as a leader focused on inspiring others.

  Thanks again!
  Elizabeth Yoder

• 124 John Sanabria // Nov 15, 2009 at 10:01 pm

  God bless you and thanks for sharing your wisdom and experience with us. I already pre-ordered your book at Amazon

• 125 Anita Ryan // Nov 15, 2009 at 10:02 pm

  Having been a sales manager for 5 years I totally understand the importance of connecting. I have to say the one point that struck me the most was being vunerable. It is so hard for people to let their guard down. People see it as a sign of weakness when really it is being honest and open to let them know you are not perfect either. However, as a leader it is important to still search for the answer when you don’t know it. You may admit you don’t know, but it is important to be diligent in finding out the information. Otherwise, you come across as un concerned and this will definetly leave you unconnected. Thanks for the preview.

• 126 Connectors Live What They Communicate | John Maxwell on Leadership « debtconsolidationandcreditrating // Nov 18, 2009 at 10:52 pm

  [...] That’s especially true if you are a leader or speaker or you have some other kind of authority. I think most people would agree with that. It’s easy to know, but harder to do. As it’s been said, wisdom is knowing the right path to take. … My friend Collin Sewell, who serves on the board of my non-profit organization EQUIP, recently told me a story that illustrates the power of living what you communicate. It’s no secret how difficult times have been for the American …This Blog [...]