Can you believe it’s almost the end of August? This week I’m in San Diego, using the break between speaking engagements to work on ideas and outlines for my book for 2011.
And of course, NEXT week is the launch of the interactive writing experience for my 2010 book.
News to you? Then be sure to read this introductory post.
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On the first of September, Chapter 1 of my upcoming book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, goes LIVE. The chapter will be available for you to read in its entirety – and provide feedback in the comments.
- See a typo? You’ll be able to tell me.
- Don’t “get” a concept in the way I explained it? Ask me for clarification.
- Disagree? You can state your case.
- Want to contribute a personal story that illustrates an idea in the chapter? You’ll be able to share it.
The comment section will be the place for you to contribute to this book. So get ready to share your ideas on September 1. (You’ll only be able to read and share your input on Chapter 1 for a limited time, so don’t delay.)
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And today, to whet your appetite, here’s the PROLOGUE to Everyone Communicates, Few Connect:
Last month I received an overseas phone call from Sangeeth Varghese, author, columnist, and founder of LeadCap, an organization developing leaders in India. I enjoyed talking to Sangeeth, but we had a problem. Our phone connection was bad. I bet we got disconnected nearly a dozen times. One minute we’d be enjoying our conversation on leadership, and the next minute the line would go dead.
Everybody’s had that happen during a phone call. It’s the reason Verizon did their “Can you hear me now?” campaign. When your phone drops a call, you know it, don’t you? And what is your reaction? How does it make you feel? Annoyed? Frustrated? Angry?
Have you ever thought about why you react the way you do when you get disconnected? Being disconnected wastes your time. It interrupts the flow of what you’re trying to accomplish. And it undermines your productivity. The bottom line is that connecting is everything when it comes to communication.
You know when you don’t have a good connection on the phone, but how about when you’re communicating with people in person? Do you know when a connection has been made? Can you tell when the connection is starting to go bad? Can you identify when the “call” has been dropped?
Most people have an easy time knowing when the connection is good on the phone. But they have no idea if they’re connecting with others in other everyday situations.
How do I tell? How do I know that I’ve connected with others? I look for the signs. When I interact with people, whether one on one, in a group, or with an audience, I know I’ve connected when I sense . . .
- Extra Effort – people go the extra mile
- Unsolicited Appreciation – they say positive things
- Unguarded Openness – they demonstrate trust
- Increased Communication – they express themselves more readily
- Enjoyable Experiences – they feel good about what they’re doing
- Emotional Bondedness – they display a connection on an emotional level
- Positive Energy – their emotional “batteries” are charged by being together
- Growing Synergy – their effectiveness is greater than the sum of the contributions
- Unconditional Love – they are accepting without reservation
Any time I interact with people and I see evidence of these signals, I know I’m connecting. I’ve learned what it takes to connect with others, and I’ve learned to gauge when I’m succeeding.
How are you doing when it comes to connecting? When you interact one on one with someone important in your life, do you receive these signals? When you lead a meeting or attend a group function, are these connecting characteristics evident? When you speak to an audience, do you connect with them in such a way that you’re not only effective at communicating, but it’s also a highly enjoyable experience for you and them? If you can’t answer these questions with a resounding yes, then you need to improve your ability to connect with people. Everyone talks. Everyone communicates. But few connect. Those who do take their relationships, their work, and their lives to another level.
If you want to learn how to connect and thereby become more effective in everything you do, there’s good news. Even if connecting with others isn’t something you’re good at today, you can learn how to do it and become better tomorrow. And that’s why I wrote this book. In the first part of the book, I’ll help you to learn the five principles that are foundational for understanding how to connect with people. In the second part, you’ll learn five practices that anyone can do to connect with others—regardless of age, experience, or natural abilty.
Ready? Let’s get started.
Update September 1: Comments for this post are now closed.
24 responses so far ↓
1 andres navarro // Aug 27, 2009 at 11:26 am
thanks for share to us your knowledge, greeting from México
2 Terry Smith // Aug 27, 2009 at 11:44 am
Right on John! my enthusiasm for this is increasing every time I get an update! Terry
3 Conrad // Aug 27, 2009 at 11:56 am
Something I struggle with everyday, comunication! I look forward to applying these principles of comunication and giving feedback on my experiences! Thanks for giving us this opportunity Mr. Maxwell!
4 Andy Heller // Aug 27, 2009 at 12:35 pm
This sounds very good! Thank you for sharing this. I’ve already picked up a few things!
5 Joan Cook // Aug 27, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Awesome! I look forward to your next update. Thanks, Joan
6 Eduardo Burgos // Aug 27, 2009 at 1:08 pm
I used to call myself a “communicator”. I think I’m going to change that to a “connector” – Thanks, John!
7 Yvette Sánchez // Aug 27, 2009 at 1:09 pm
This excerpt is awe-inspiring. I cannot wait for your next update.
8 Cheryl Navaroli // Aug 27, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Great information in such a small dose! Very excited for what is next.
9 John Tate // Aug 27, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Awesome! I am reminded of Max Du Pree’s Leadership Is An Art when he talks about “Connecting The Voice, To The Touch.” I certainly want to learn more than just To Communication, but To Connect (The Voice To The Touch) In my professional career, I’ve noticed that I’ve had some hits in this area, but also some misses. I’d like to learn how to be consistent, if that is possible. I am excited about getting this book.
10 John Tate // Aug 27, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Correction: Leadership Jazz
11 Erika // Aug 27, 2009 at 3:30 pm
This is great, and so true. I’m anxiously awaiting this book so I can buy it for my husband!
12 people-power // Aug 27, 2009 at 5:54 pm
This is such a fun and fantastic way to learn and grow in our communication skills. I find connecting is much more difficult than communicating, putting things into context helps influence language use. Looking forward to reading your first chapter. So glad you had a wonderful breakfast I to had brunch with my sisters. Sisters make the world a better place, a better and a much more gorgeous place.. Have a great day
13 Anita // Aug 27, 2009 at 8:13 pm
Thanks John. It is so very true. Heared someone say ‘If you dont’ have feed back it has not been communicated’. I have tested that statement and found it to be very true and a good gauge.
)
14 Dan // Aug 27, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Mr. Maxwell,
Thank you very much for permitting us to participate in this “interactive writing experience”. I am excited and look forward to the following weeks. I’ve only recently been introduced to your books and have only read two, but have learned more and been challenged more by them than any other books I have read in recent years other then the bible. Thinking for a Change is a gold mine. Judging from the prologue, this one will also be a must study as well. Thank you again.
Dan
15 Elmari Swart // Aug 28, 2009 at 2:49 am
We are at a challenging junction in our organisation regarding communication – I look forward to some practical tips and info to better our connection and communication within our precious organisation.
16 Michael Shelley // Aug 28, 2009 at 7:12 am
I’m very excited about this new book! I’ve been a speech communication professor at a few colleges in the state of GA and I’ve taught the importance of communicating clearly. Miss communication is the rule not the exception in today’s culture. In order to keep from miss communicating learn to watch others while speaking. This is going to be a fantastic book!
Mike
17 Joey // Aug 28, 2009 at 10:36 am
This is right on the money! It goes along with what I say, “Many are called, few are chosen, none are discipled.” Or can we say, none are “connected.” On know that statement is out there, but I have a lot of history dealing with this subject. Good job John!
18 GED JARVIS // Aug 28, 2009 at 10:49 am
Hi John. Hope you are well and in good health. I hope to learn a lot from you in the future and in advance “thank you”.
p.s do you ever do tv programmes that we can get in the uk? I see you on Joyces “everyday life” but id like to watch you teach in a none religious context.
GED.
19 Guy Walker // Aug 28, 2009 at 10:53 am
Today it is harder to connect face-to-face than ever before. It seems the “call is dropped” every time someone to receives a notification on their fancy mini-pocket-computer {cell phone}. They place a higher importance on the person calling than they do me. Do I not matter? Next time they ignore me, I may grab their phone and throw it in the middle of the street so a taxi cab will crush it!
Don’t be so quick to judge you say? I do the same thing and it is frustrating. I know. We all need to make an effort to more effective in our face-to-face communication.
20 Angela Chrysler // Aug 28, 2009 at 11:03 am
This topic is awesome and powerful. Thanks John for jumping into and sharing with us all. I look forward to more info.
21 Ruth Post // Aug 28, 2009 at 11:48 am
John, thank you very much for the privilege of having insight into this amazing new book. I sure have learn and am still learning so much from you. It is absolutely an amazing honour to have leaders as yourself pathing the way for others to follow, especially because you don’t just talk, but because you walk the talk.
All of the best with your new book. I know that it will be a great success and an inspiration to many, as your other books already have been.
Ruth
22 Johann Henriquez Lucero // Aug 30, 2009 at 12:21 am
I don’t know if this fit in the topic. When I was reading I thought, what about the new types of communication? (e-mail, videoconference, instant messaging) Do they fit in this topic? Can I “sense the signs” and see if I really connect with the other person or the audience?
Probably in the chapters you talk about this.
Beyond that, it’s a really nice prologue.
23 Kyle Gilbert // Aug 30, 2009 at 9:37 am
Really looking forward to the first chapter. I’m already hooked.
24 José M. Pujol H. // Aug 31, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Special thanks Dr. John C. maxwell for the opportunity to be able to share our ideas. I am sure that it will be another success this new book. Regards of Venezuela